ouggh i hate being in indonesia

okay so, i'm a 13 year old transmasc from indonesia. i'm also like, attracted to every gender. my entire family is queerphobic (except for my brother) and it's tiring. i've heard my family curse gay people so many times, and my GOD does it hurt...

my teachers too, they often say "girls shouldn't be with girls!" and "boys shouldn't be with boys!" and i always feel targeted. there is a lesbian in my class though, and she is my best friend, but yeah most people here are homophobes.

although i don't expect everyone to support my identity, it still kinda hurt. i remember telling my mom i liked a girl, and she got really mad. a few years back i also told her that i didn't feel like a girl, and she got mad too. i don't think i'm ever coming out to her until i'm an adult.

oh yeah, and there are barely any alt people here. yeah, sure, there are some mcr fans and people with cool style, but most are performative. they're mostly all homophobes, or their political views don't match up with an actual alt person. this whole "skena" thing pisses me off

and like, i'm in a band. the band's name is "deceive the sky". it used to be just me and my bassist, but i kicked them out because they were lowkey transphobic. i'm the singer/guitarist in the band. i need new members. guitarists/drummers/bassists ages 13-15 from jakarta hmu... and it would be really cool if yall are queer and alt so i won't feel like an outcast...