Su….. ideation & dating…

I don’t understand how you could build bonds and know that you don’t plan on staying for long. Don’t you think about how much more people you’re hurting? Leaving one for another, knowing that “dying” thought remains lingering. Do you want love? Or is the goal to try and trick yourself into believing that you’re unlovable by leaving those who actually do love you & punishing yourself with temporary people? Temporary people who somehow, you still hurt & hurt you. 

“Why do you deny yourself HEAVEN? Why do you consider yourself undeserving? Why are you afraid of love? You think it’s not possible for someone like you, but you are the love of my life.” - Beyoncé

I’m selfish to want you all to myself, but i’m selfless for trying to save other peoples feelings when you depart. Right? Maybe thinking this way makes me full on selfish.. A narcissist?

Maybe i’m dwelling in limerence… because this toxicity means nothing if it means i could get you to hold me again. It means nothing if I get to wipe your tears, cater to you and love you. Dangerously. I would try. Risk me for the rest of you. The remaining of you to steal the light in me. Won’t you shine on me. 

But seriously. I don’t understand.

What fulfillment are you trying to reach?