Takes 2 to kill me

i did not want to

be your dead horse or your boy

friend. not your dad 

or your savior or servant. 

i barely want to be your son

trying to honor the seething 

anger i carry with me everywhere at the 

fact i was born to my mother 

without judging or shaming myself 

too much for it

now that i can see a glimmer of light

 the weight is heavier and more 

painful than ever 

my spine froze because i realized 

that my guilt may have been 

the one thing keeping me alive