2021 Post-Mortem

YouTube:

Internet Kindness:

I think it's time to just declare that my original plans for my IK YouTube channel have failed. This is pretty normal for YouTube channels. When you don't know what you're doing, you can't foresee how long things take and the energy levels they will involve. I would like to work on animations and other types of content eventually, but if I have to be honest with myself, I don't have the time or energy now, and I should probably just make a whole new channel for that when I do. When I started the website, my financial situation and my free time situation was VERY different than it has been since March 2020.

Until then, I will keep grinding and practice editing and such, keep watching marketing videos, keep attempting to grow an online presence for such a time when I have the money and time to devote more to the original concept of the project. Until then, I will spend more of my time helping out Angst because half the problem is that I don't have the mental health support to function, and the other half is that I have to spend all my time trying to pay my bills, rather than working on YouTube videos.

Creepy&Weird Podcast:

It's been going well, but slowly, which is fine. Again, it takes years to make any money on such things, so we will do it in the extra time we have for it, and when our schedules allow for making new episodes.

Mental health report:

Better than last year, still pretty fucking bad, to be honest. But I do have one thing I didn't have last year, which is a sense of purpose, which helps to fight against emotional dysregulation. Still, if I'm distant with people, it's because I am not in a mental place in which I am able to be social all the time.

Also, Facebook dysregulates me. I've been saying this for at 7 years, and maybe this is not the place to talk to me for that reason. If it doesn't dysregulate you, that's fine, but I don't think I'm wrong to limit my time on a website that I find overstimulating due to ADHD and various other issues. Pandemics, job loss, and poverty have not been very great for me. Various mental health professionals have also suggested I just get the fuck off social media, but that seems a step slightly too far for me currently, because I use it to make money. Otherwise, I'm easily reached via websites and email.

SHC:

I have so little extra time I struggle to even check my email, much less work on websites.

Future:

I will continue to grind and watch marketing videos, and collect psych books, I guess. And focus on my etsy shop so I can maybe someday have some extra time to do things I want to do.

I watched a video yesterday in which Harris Heller and Sam Woodhall talk about the process of doing YouTube and some of it was depressing, some wasn't, but all of it was relatable and humbling, which is why I like their channels.