what am I doing

I have no clue what I'm doing with my life bro. Good lord. Earlier this year before I graduated I had a vague idea of what I wanted to do but now I have ZERO clue on what I want. 

I want to do something I enjoy but I also don't want to work forever. I don't want to go into debt for the rest of my life for a piece of paper I may or may not use. I know this is like whiny shit I'm spewing as a 19 year old but like HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW??

That's lowkey the reason why I'm taking a gap year in the first place, because I have no idea what I want to do. I know one positive I can take away from this is the fact that I do have a job and I help around the house. So I'm at least DOING something and not bumming off my mom. That part makes me feel a little better about not figuring it out yet. 

I've been spending my time just doing random stuff, helping around the house, and working. I've been making a fursuit head on the side (yes I'm weird but it's fun so who cares). Pretty much just dabbling in some of my hobbies like anyone would. It's just that I hate talking to my family about it. My grandma always mentions it one way or another, and I get it. She wants a good future for me and that's cool. I'm not going to deny her or try to for wanting the best for me. ITS JUSTVSTRESSFUL AUGHHH.

I have been thinking about what I would want to do, and art (even if it's one of my biggest hobbies/interests) doesn't suit me career wise. That much, I have figured out. I was thinking about doing something in history or something coding/video game related? I know barely anything about coding but I think it's worth giving a shot since it's similar to math (for me at least). History is just a pool for me. I don't mind anything in that field so it seems the most ideal. Videogames have always been fun. I think if I got into the making of one I'd have tons of fun with that.

I definitely have to keep looking at my options or just brainstorm on what I want out of life. You don't have to go to college and land yourself in a butt load of debt because you wanted to do something that pays well. But it's always the "better" option. Not a fan of that personally....ok that's it byeeeee.