Letters to the Dead

A/N: The Mexican holiday of Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) was yesterday. I've taken it upon myself to begin writing letters to my deceased loved ones. Namely, my grandmother and elder brother. Ama is a nickname I gave my grandmother. She passed in 2019 but I still miss her dearly. Another thing to note is that an ofrenda is an altar set up specifically for Dia de los Muertos where we leave offerings for our loved ones to have when they cross over.

Dear Ama,

      It's the last night of Dia de Muertos celebrations. I'm sorry I couldn't set up an ofrenda, but we recently got a cat and she runs around like crazy. I didn't want her to pull down the ofrenda and get hurt or make a mess. By the way, my cat's name is Ghost. My husband found her back in August. She was so dirty and skinny, I don't know how she was still alive. Now she's a gorgeous and plump cat, and she's so full of life. She's a total cuddle bug, too.

      And, yes, I did get married. Last year just a couple weeks before my birthday, in fact. Would you have agreed with my choice of husband? Probably not but I think given some time you would've grown to love him. He's loving and caring and enjoys cooking. He's probably the only non-Latino that can make chorizo without burning it.

      Anyway, I ended up graduating high school back in 2020. It was difficult because everything was shut down due to a global pandemic. The only people working were those in "essential" industries (food, transportation, medical, etc.). Even though they were deemed essential, they still had to work with skeleton crews to lessen the spread of the disease. While I do miss you dearly, Ama, I am fortunate that you didn't have to live through the pandemic. If your pre-existing medical conditions hadn't taken you from us, the Coronavirus would have and I wouldn't have been able to bear to see you suffer such a fate.

      I've tried to go to college but ended up dropping out. I know that's not something you would've liked to hear since you always wanted us to live good lives and not have to struggle. And I know you would've wanted me to continue with my studies since I was studying to become a medical assistant, but the medical field just isn't for me. All the sick and dying men, women and children. The grieving families. I am just not built for that. I also don't think I would enjoy ending every shift covered in various bodily fluids.

      I am considering going back to school for business I'm just not sure which business I would like to open. I am in between two ideas: bakery/cafe or salon (tanning, hair, nails and makeup). I just don't know which I should open. I love baking. I find it very relaxing and it reminds of the all times we used to bake together when I was younger. On the other hand, I love doing my hair, nails and makeup. I enjoy experimenting with my look. And having a tanning salon would be wonderful, especially since I live in Utah. These Utah winters are so harsh they absolutely drain my color. Oh, Ama, what should I choose? Perhaps, you could send me a sign? I've always valued your input on these matters.

      I do hope you enjoyed your visit and I hope you return next year. I will keep you updated on things happening here in the living world. I do miss and love you, Ama.

Love,

Raven