And here's go a note...

Hey, it's been a while since I've been here, hasn't it? Well, I have some things about feelings and news to share...

Well, my end-of-year performances are pretty much over, and I'm thinking about taking up an instrument next year.

But something happend that made me think about my life, and that was the loss of a someone, but no, the person didn't die.

You know, I knew this person for a long time, since 2020, they was one of my best friends, they was the love of my life twice... We lived in a harmony that was sometimes broken and restored, and, as the time went on, I came to understand that maybe I wasn't exatly the person they wanted, but I would never remove they from my life if they didn't want me to.

But one day, after I told her my social preferences, they just... Put me out of they life. I like being alone in my own space, but I enjoy company sometimes, and this person... Needed attention that I could never give 100%.

They stopped talking to me because they thought the post about my preferences was specially for them, and... In a second, everything I helped with, advised, and was there for... It didn't matter anymore.

For weeks I thought it was my fault, maybe if I had tried harder, talked more, they would still be here. But, after thinking about it, I realized I had already done that.
I had already tried, tried to force myself to be someone that this person would want to have around. I had already tried too hard. I couldn't be with they all the time, but I always gave they my advice, I was there during they crises, and for a moment, I think I managed to make they feel... Alive, even if there was only a phone screen between us.

... And despite everything, I have a feeling I never thought could exist...

... How can I say that I'm proud of someone... Who isn't even in my life anymore?

Look, I'm not angry with that person. Maybe I was at first, but after everything, I've seen how much that person is evolving, and evolution that I've witnessed firsthand.  Despite the circumstances, I wanted to be the one who, years later, or even now, would approach that person and say...

"I'm proud of you."

"Congratulations, you've been through so much... And now you're here!"

... But how I do that?

Please, forgive the sad topic, but I needed to share this perspective with someone. Tell me, do you guys think I should continue feeling this way?

Well, please forgive any spelling mistakes... Take care, thank you for reading this far!