I think I'm going to be fine

Hello people in my blog, 

last few days/weeks have been very draining, not sure what I should share here, but my heart is broken, my physical state is getting worse, my mind is on a downwards spiral, but still, I see a light at the end of the tunnel.

I broke up with my girlfriend of 10 months like 2 weeks ago and I've been realizing more and more HOW bad the relationship was for me. She was never there for me when I had problems, barely asked me how I felt, disregarded my feelings when I had an issue, always made me feel like I was at fault even though I only tried to do better. I forgot how it felt to actually have a person show genuine interest in what I say or care about. I have not felt seen during the entire time I was with her UNLESS I was there for her. I was like her emotional punching bag. She always unloaded all her worries on me without caring or thinking about what that might do to my mental well-being. She only loved what I did for her, but not the full me. And even though I can clearly see all of that now, I'm still so terribly hurt about ending the relationship. I don't want her back, but it's so hard to stay sane through all of this.

There hasn't been a positive life changing event yet, but I'm really trying to get a grip. I will get better and I'm sure at some point I will find someone that cares for me and will listen to me when I need it.

I'm hopeful, regardless of how things might seem right now.

- Art (: