Feeling Melancholy

Bit of a rant post but i’m in a constant state of yearning lately. When it’s at this point, there’s a warm ache in my chest at the idea of something else out there waiting for me. 

I’m planning for a vacation. I want to be in a lighthouse in the cold foggy days, sat with nothing but my books and my music. Or on a rocky boat in the north Atlantic with a journal. Smelling the sea and just observing. Silent observing. 

To speak whats true to myself, most times I want to just want to be alone.  

I need a cigarette