Life Update

i've got so many things to talk about today. i just wanted to update anyone who gaf (nobody) and talk to a wall because this is BASICALLY my diary. by "Halfway To Somewhere" series is like an autobiography. this is like the most modern version of it. my thought in real time as they happen. idk. i like singing and drawing and dancing:3. okay lets get on with this. IM GETTING MY GED!!! it's officially official. i've met with my accommodations coach and i have a student email and i've visited main campus. i start in the spring semester and it's going to take roughly 15 weeks, maybe more. i'll be posting weekly updates as i go through this so when i graduate, i can reflect. and oh my fuck, i GET TO WALK, WITH A CAP AND GOWN! this is fantastic! i'm getting graduation photos, and i'm going to be happy, and i'm going to go into Journalism as a degree in college. it's just making me feel like i'm finally getting to grow up, and move on. 

i got a new plant! it's a pinstripe calathea, and i named it plantisha. i havent fully deicded its pronouns yet, but maybe they use ALL pronouns. she's got these pink stripes on it's leaves, and over the two weeks i've had her, she's changed color a bit. when i got it, it had this horrible sunburn, and it's purple underleaves were so green. and oh my god, don't get me started on the lack of water. Walmart is the petsmart of plants. they don't know how to keep these things alive, nor do they care. UHG! the hippie in me, just crying out in pain. so i've been watering and misting her, i've got a humidifier for her, and she's placed in indirect sunlight. it's soil gets watered whenever it's dry. 

i got AN UNDERCUT. like nearly BALD. i keep touching it because it feels cool. i always felt my brothers head after he shaved, and i never really considered what it'd feel like to do that. it makes me want to shave more of my head, but i've decided i need to lose more weight if i want to do that. i do want to shave the sides of my hair one day, not myself, but professionally. i just... like being bald, honestly. I'll start out with a pixie cut, and then i'll shave the sides and have a mullet, and then i'll let it grow out and i'll get another pixie cut, and then i'll just have shoulder length hair for awhile. maybe somewhere in there, i'll get the bangs i was destined to have. 

did you know the autistic lifespan is 40 years? im jokingly planning my funeral with friends. only half joking. like, no, i dont ACTUALLY want a crane to drop my body from 100 feet and wherever i land i get buried, but the THOUGHT is very funny and i'll entertain it. realistically i'll get cremated and turned into jewelry for my parents to wear, or maybe tattoo ink. the cremated part is the most realistic. despite that, i DO genuinely want my parents to host a HUGE party when i die. i like the idea of everyone celebrating my life instead of mourning it. in the mexican culture, they set up this roadside gravesites called descansos. theres SO many in my city, and my friend who died in 2017 has one of his own. rip dominic.

my twitter friends are so silly. i love them so much. we have a love hate relationship by choice, but without actually hating each other. i adore it. it started with luke and michael and all the other stan twt gabbie hanna fans. but then i joined the ACTUAL stan twt gc and holy FUCK were these bitches ruthless. i love T and Kayden sm. they are icons and dont get me started on erica and katie. sasha is amazing, and im just listing people out. cosmo. charlie. myki when theyre active. coochie club in general. i am actually going to revive lily gimmels. this account will be my only trace/connection of alyssa to lily. it started very long ago-- no im just kidding. it was an email name i had when Internet Safety Era said "no real names" so i made the fake name lily gimmels. 

therapy has been so-so. we've progressed really far. i went from meltdowns twice, maybe thrice a week where i'm violent as fuck and self injurious, to maybe 1 meltdown ever 2 months that lasts 10 minutes and i can calm myself down. AND THIS SHITS JUST SPEECH THERAPY?????????????? whats gonna happen when im off the waitlist for occupational therapy? damn my life is getting together. also i have physical therapy in december for my fuckass back.