journal 2: things kinds suck rn

i know that it has been a freaking long time since i havent got into spacehey, but its only that my mental health has been going doooooooown the drain and i did not want to go and rant to yall personally because i know itd be weird.,,

but at leats i wanna express my feelings now.

long story short, its just that im living exactly in thr place id want to be less, with the person id want to live less near to, and I have really no alternative until i finisht my comouters crao degree in abt 2 years

and I wanna start to make music and make it cool and awesome, but im just constantly filled with stress because of that person and i cant get myself to do it.

other big problem asides of that its that im tired of not findign a friend or anyone like me irl. i know it sounds like loser behavior but TRUST ME please its not all my fault that im this alone irl. i wish i could ocassionalky go out there and have a live, like probably just going out to eat and hang out with friends irl but...uh..yeah right now i cant really do that.

besides other lesser problems, these two things have sometimes got me to my limit and made me feel absolutley terrible, state in wich ofc i cant talk to anyone here. but on the bright side, im releasing parts of covers on my tik tok page and soon posting the full ones on youtube (both wich i will be linking soon here !!!)

so yeah, life aint really that MUCH okay for me, but im still trying to keep up. ive also got lots of music ideas and I have sketched out two, so thats another little start. i js hope things get better soon, even if ive been waiting around 4 years to do so. baii everyone, remember to take care of urselves ^_^