star, whose star?

i wanted to say sorry to all my friends

they gonna kill me if they see me here and writing about star

she was dark blue soooooo

it was second period of first year in high school

i was trying to get accepted by popular girls

but when i saw her, i forgot about it

and forgot about i should pretented to be straight

yeah she came to class introduced herself

she was looked like a common teenager

wolfcut, baggy pants and more

but her aura was kinda strange

too much

and when i didnt even know her name,

i wanted to name her star

did you guys know a feeling that just like you used drugs

well i didnt use it never ever

even cigarettes

but i didnt think, i cant speak i just wanted her to kiss me 

but this feeling was not what i felt that days

it was just a crush

she was the second lgbti i ever seen in my school

i learned this for the first day lol

we became friends and i was trying to flirt

and she was trying too

just i didnt realize on that day

my first year in highschool was pretty normal 

i was trying to show myself, trying to get some people

it was a new place to me 

but everyone is came from same middle school, or same town or somethng 

it was kinda hard but i kinda succeeded

or i thought i was

there are some friendships

you try too hard for them

just to keep them by your side

but they were never see you as a friend

i get it now. after 3 years

and second year of highschool, from the first day

star joined our friend group

and my second year was not that good 

my classes were bad,  i was the third person in that friend group

so it was sad for me

and that was the year when i met moon

but today i want to talk about star

she made me love haikyu 

she was make me feel uncomfortable and uneasy

but i loved that

i was blaming her for stealing my friend

but now just thinking about it, it was my friends fault

when i said, she was my bully i dont want to actually remember her like that

when we were second year, she became friends with popular girls

and just like i said, she was popular just being a bully in middle school

and when she enters that popular girls group they said

omg star youve changed too much, are you trying to be a good person or what?

whatever she was kinda mean, she was slandering, oh and first she get to know and approached people, then became friends with them

but when she learned too much, she starts mocking with their appearance and shares their secrets

if i am not wrong she didnt share anything about me (and i hope she didnt so)

i didnt know if shes pity me or just feeling bad but she immediately stops when she saw that i am upset with her

well i had every right to feeling hate for her

but i cant 

she was toxic

she was mocking with my apperance before at class.

but when class begins she starts to braided my hair and whispering

im blushing inside my class right now help

and swhe was whispering how pretty i am

how could i hate her

i cant write more i dont wanna look like a tomato

well that was it for now i guess

she is a past memory now

we didnt even talked on our graduation

but i swear she was the one

she was

if theres someone whos gonna read this one day, i hope you had a good day!!