Holy wow, I'm alive!!

(ts is not beta read, just edited as I went, so it might be paced weird)

This even comes as a surprise to me, but I'm alive!

Not that I had any near deaths experiences...

unless you count my school getting a bomb threat earlier this year (there was no bomb, and I got to pet a bomb sniffer dog :D).

Not gonna lie, school has SUCKED. I'm already getting senioritis and I'm not even a full three months in.

First, I decide to try and start out this year on a good note, so I choose to make a nice organizer for my club on google sheets. Me and the other people who run the club (plus the teacher advisor) all have editing access, so we can mark down who led club on which days, when we don't have club, and store the slideshows we make.

I share this with the other leaders, they basically say "cool, lol", then I'm basically the ONLY ONE using it. Then, I find out that the members of the club don't even check the club's google classroom on the days where we have club, which would be understandable if we didn't remind them to basically every meeting. Which is fine, whatever, I totally do not care.

I now have a friend group I sit with at lunch, though, which is a relatively new development. These people actually like to engage in a variety of topics during lunch, too, instead of JUST crk. Don't get me wrong, I'm down to talk about crk every now and then, but when someone keeps talking to me about something I don't have an interest in, and practically ignores me when I want to talk about literally ANYTHING else, I kinda wanna crash out a bit. I love when people share their interests with me, but it's gotta be my turn to share with the class sometimes too, RIGHT??? (My new friend group likes to talk about their Halloween plans together in front of me, but it's fine :1)

Also, towards the beginning of the year, I became friendly with someone I'll just call 'Lua'. Then, about a week ago, I found out from my friend group that, apparently, Lua has a nasty habit of touching people in a little more than friendly fashion AND show off their s/h scars (don't get me wrong, it's okay to have scars exposed, but purposely going "hey, look at my scars" and showing them off like they're some kind of trophy, when that could very much be triggering for people, is a big no-no, imo). So, the next day, I choose to try and distance myself from them because, oh my god, I don't want to get diddled </3, so I sat down on the end of one of the benches by a staircase and put all my stuff next to me so, if Lua wanted to sit next to me, they'd likely just have to sit on the other side of my school things.

So, when Lua shows up, they set their stuff down on the bench, kneel down on the ground in front of me, put their hands on my knees, and start to (slightly) open and close my legs as they talk to me. LIKE???? UHM???? I already have sexual trauma, I don't need that shit to escalate more. I try to act normal, because I'm too nice for my own good (aka, a nice way of saying I'm a total fucking push over and an absolute pussy), until they go off to their own class.

Yeah, not very fun.

I've found a new place to sit in the mornings.

My principal has also decided to start trying to advertise this ai program to the students and not tell the teachers like a shady bitch. I'm not gonna say what the program is, because I don't want people using it, but it has been SO WEIRD. The school I go to has a lot of future rocket scientists, biologists, lawyers, and doctors, so, of course, a LOT of people have been sending him emails basically saying "hey, maybe don't promote this???", and I'm also one of the students who refuse to use this (primarily because I'm actively working on easing myself off of using c.ai because this shit is addicting and ruining me), but I haven't sent him an email about it. And, I'm kinda glad I didn't because he started CALLING STUDENTS INTO HIS OFFICE and treating their emails like personal attacks like my fucking MOM.

My school year hasn't been entirely shit, however, I found out that I'm naturally good at dissections through my anatomy class. I'm also making a mini video-essay about Rashomon (the short story, not the movie) for my creative writing class. It's due tomorrow and I just need to record the script and edit it, which isn't a lot because, if trying to dissect Rashomon taught me one thing, it's that, sometimes, it's better to just accept things as-is.