why does god hate me? 🥹

hellOOO everypony!

why does god hate me? 🥹

this week i feel like he has been trying to snipe me out. monday and tuesday were okay, but then wednesday rolled around...

so i sit at this certain table during lunch and its the only table without like a second one with it so it's just one row and my friends (honestly i don't even want to call them my friends because they're lowkey really weird and mean to me but i feel like thats mainly my fault anyway) also sit there even tho they complain about sitting there (no one is forcing them to sit there btw they can sit anywhere else...)

BEFORE even getting into the cafeteria, the security guards started enforcing bullshit rules about where to enter and whatnot even tho it was stupid (i think it was to prevent people from cutting in line but like bro its gonna happen regardless). there's two main doors: one where people line up for lunch (which is super long) and the second one where people exit after getting lunch (which is the one i go through so i can sit down and start eating my lunch right away bc i bring my own lunch from home). for some reason, the security guard wasn't letting people through the second door to enter which i was fuming over because people that had their lunch were telling her "hey i have my lunch can i sit" and she kept saying "nope go through the other one." the thing is...THE OTHER SECURITY GUARD WASN'T LETTING IN PEOPLE WITH THEIR LUNCHES GO THROUGH THE MAIN DOOR UNLESS THEY WENT INTO THE LINE WHICH IS SUPERRR LONG AND TOLD US TO GO THROUGH THE OTHER DOOR!!! usually if people went through the main door w/ lunch they would just bypass the line and slip through. so it was just a back and forth of trying to get into the cafeteria w/o going into the line. eventually i had to but i snuck in and got in quicker than if i would have went to the back of the line.

this made me BEYONNNDDD pissed already...

when i get into the cafeteria there was someone sitting on the edge of the table which is where i usually sit but since none of my "friends" were in the cafeteria yet i just sat down and hoped that the guy would get it. soon the kiddos start rolling in and my friends started coming into the cafeteria. 3 of them sat down but this one girl (i would call her a friend but like she ignores me in the halls and treats me like im a stranger lowkey) was standing behind me and i was like "bro why isn't she sitting down" even tho i knew why bc she usually sits next to the guy that sat down next to me. i knew she wanted me to scoot but i wanted her to tell me that bc i was already so mad and i just wasnt gonna do anything unless someone asked me (sorry if this sounds like im being a jerk but wtv). 

i have one airpod in but i literally hear her talking to the guy friend asking him to ask me to scoot down even though i am RIGHT there and she can literally ask me herself because she KNOWS me. this genuinely made me so mad bc WHY are you treating me like a stranger? THEN...the guy friend asks me to scoot down and i just blow up. i start yelling at him and saying shit i dont remember and honestly i don't really care im so done with like everyone there except for my one friend love her ❤️‍🩹

so that made me even more mad not bc he asked me to move down but bc the girl didn't ask me herself...btw this is all within a wednesday, but the rest of the week isn't gonna be as lengthy.

thursday i feel a sickness on the rise...but i'm already at school and so i have to fight with everything in me until my dad can come pick me up early which thankfully was 2 hours after school has started...i was sneezing and coughing and trying not to cry from a wicked headache.

friday i was feeling better but still with an itchy nose and headache but i had to power through because i had a job interview so i stayed home. I WAS LIKE 3 MINUTES LATE TO IT BUT I THINK IT WAS OKAY BECAUSE THE PEOPLE DIDN'T CARE (i think...) AND THEY WERE SUPER NICE!!! i also think i may have a chance of getting the job too!!! only positive thing about my week was talking with those folks interviewing me. it was the owner, his wife, and his son. they were all super duper nice and if they do decide to hire me i think i would be SOOO happy working for them even if the work is a lot of work (bc i have to remember A LOT of stuff and be knowledgeable in it). 

now...saturday.....my luck all goes downhill.

first, i go to guitar and the people there got rid of the chair that everyone hated but i LOVED with all my heart, i was the only person there that liked that chair and they got rid of rid of it and i was so upset. people kept complaining about falling out of it but i liked the chair so much it was comfy and i could rock in it and i hate the new chair because there's just no movement i can't sink my butt and back into it and i just overall hate change it's just not the same i hate it. 

now the day gets jusstt a little better bc i get mcdonald's!!!! however, that was the only time i was going to be happy.

i had to go to a birthday party for my cousin and while i was there i ate a piece of roti which didn't seem that bad of an idea at first until i got home, but we will get to that in a bit.

when i got home my PERIOD started and my stomach started hurting as well and then it went downhill from there...

i have a very strict diet due to stomach problems so there's more things i can't eat than eat and to fix that i've been trying to reintroduce foods (it has not been going well so far). roti was one food i was trying to reintroduce today. this was a bad idea. roti is bread. bread is very bad for my tummy for some reason. roti + stomach = vomit.

i threw up EVERYTHING i ate from the roti alone and honestly i think this is the most i have thrown up when eating a food that my stomach doesn't agree with and it's quite scary. even after i got like all of the food out of my system i still went to throw up once or twice more, i think the second time there was a little blood in there, which concerned me a lot.

it was really bad but thankfully i think i'm done throwing up now. my dad made me mackeral and rice and eating that made my stomach feel better. i drank some apple juice and now hopefully it all doesn't come back up!

goodBYEEEE everypony!