Hot take: ''Dating'' shouldn't be a thing

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Ok let me explain myself, this is only MY reality, if your life experience is different that's totally fine, but this entry is just so I can express my views on romance, I'm not trying to be a guru of sorts I just want to talk about this because it's something very recent for me.

So, normally and how most people aproach this is by seeing a person they find attratctive, start talking and flirting, they get to know eachother.... and the SOLE puspose of their interactions is to seek a partner right? if they decide that they don't match they go separate ways and never talk to eachother again, like nothing ever happened.... when they shared even a bed.

First of all, call me crazy call me puritan but I would never be able to kiss or even have significant physical contact with someone just based on attraction, most people, view the order of things.... backwards than how I see it, let me go futher:

For me, if what you're seeking is love, falling in love, the attraction thing yes, It's importat and needs to be there but the WHOLE reason for me to be in a relationship is the appreciation, how happy they make me just by talking NOT ROAMTICLY but just talking with them about anything, spending time with them and how much we value eachother, and THEN and ONLY THEN, we can go and do stuff because it's deeply inntimate.

The ideal scenario for me would be to be friends with someone, but not because of the romantic interest, but because I actually and genuenly connect with them, as time passes, you become closer, and THEN if  it happens, hey, it happens, you got to see who this person is, their fears, their hopes.... that's when I can even start to think about actually being in love with them, if the other guy sees me the same way, then we get even closer, and with TINY TINY steps, we won't be kissing already !!! I need to be completely calm with the person I will be with, If I went with someone just because he's nice and handsome... my body will shut down if he tried to kiss me, I know, because it has happened to me, you can't let someone in your life for a few months and play pretend until you actually love eachother, it's so so crazy to me how they switch from person to person, it might work for other people, there's wonderful couples out there that came out from that method,but for me ...it just doesn't work that way, AT ALL.

And don't even get me started on people who date MULTIPLE PEOPLE AT ONCE???? this is not a fucking buffet where you can see what you like best, people who do that piss me off and I hate it because it's most likely the standrd practice for some people... if I'm interested in a guy, I pour my soul, my thoughts and my energy on him and only him. How can people even do that??? I can't comprehend it I'm so sorry.

Love is not something you actively seek... you just... fall in love naturally when and if that hasn't happened... it doesn't mean you can't yearn for it, that's completely normal and human, I like to fantasize about these things too, but we have to be mindful because this is not just whatever, this is a very very beag deal, as someone who is not used to recive this kind of attention, it's easy for your brain to influence you if a guy starts hitting on you and talking cutesy to you... you feel like in a dream...but again for ME personally.... longterm that's not the way, because 1- most likely than not it was because of superfitial reasons even if he did't have bad intentions and 2- I already explained, the only way for me to get in a relationship is falling in love  and him falling in love with me , and that way feels so so so artificial.

So yeah, I hope I didn't forget anything I wanted to say :3

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