Giving up, and positive resolutions

I’ve come too far and it might be becoming too much. I can’t put this feeling into words because it’s too complicated, I have waited too much for things to get better and I’m way too tired to ever think of keeping on.

The weight that I carry every day and no one else seems to have it, the way I analyze life and how much it affects me, seeing myself sick everyday and the hopelessness of ever getting better; those are some of the things that are making me want to quit, and honestly I’m not too far from that. It might be sad, it might be happy; it doesn’t matter much to me, all I want is to be set free from this crippling feeling.

People may think I’m selfish for doing this for myself, but frankly, who else would I be doing this for? I’m too tired and I wanna quit, I’ve analyzed life and the world around me and I figured that it’s not worth it to keep on going. I understand that it might leave a mark on the people around me, but that’s temporary and maybe it’s not so bad that I’m gone.

I feel quite happy, I feel happier than I’ve been in a while although I’m still feeling sick, I just know that it’ll be over soon and things will be okay. I feel positive because I know things will be better soon, and maybe my mind is too tired of making my body feel well and it’s just making my mind calm. Things will be okay, don’t worry about me, I’ll get what I want and then I won’t suffer any longer.