Rambling- Random thoughts

Disclaimer: This is very chaotic and not in any specific order. I am literally just jumping from one topic straight into another randomly. Side note: Do people really care if I do this whole disclaimer thing??? Like, is it important with the topics im talking about or nah  moving on...

tw!: drug use! mental health decline! supernatural topics!

Everyone just needs to sit and ponder for a few hours. That's it... But anyways. I wonder how people see me sometimes. Like I think everyone thinks that, but like I do. And it's mainly due to these two good friends that I have, who really like to share how exactly they view me. And I love that they do because it just improves my overall mood for a while. Heh boosts my ego perhaps...  anyways, I now know the difference between a manic episode and a psychosis, I thought they were like the same thing, just different terms for it, I guess... idk. But it was all to some videos i watched while i was high that really distorted my sense of reality, (litterly the textbook def of psycosis but wtv) and it was just like a whole bunch pf supernatural stuff that people beleive is true and stuff..  like dark energy and super natural and all that... it was so scary and i know that if i were to try to like fully expand my mind to that and the fact that supernaturally dark things can happen to someone, i really just go crazy. Like that's the singular thing I can think about for like a few hours. Like, im so invested, I sometimes feel like im in a little room with only my thoughts happening around me. Like everything else is shut out and gone, and it's just the visuals and thoughts in my head  (wow guyz im s0 ko0 K0o cr4zy ) 

Anywayz... im getting my own room soon.. I shouldn't really be sharing this info to others but i already did anyways so idc (its liek some bad jealousy karma) but im just scrolling through amazon trying to basically set up like a small moodboard of how i want my room, it all started with the fact i want a night light to be able to see the rest of my room while im like laying in bed with my computer shining in my face. I found a cute vase with mushrooms and flowers in it that plugs in and lights up in different colors. It's cute and I love it and I want it now. 

Also. I find all my little gifs, blinkies, stamps, and whatever else from Deviantart (might link my acc soon, where I possibly will start posting art), and I love scrolling down to like find my little pixels/emoticons and just seeing the comments under that pixel full of just people spamming that one pixel. idk, I just love it. 

Another thing, teehee.. I love oversharing, bruh... (like it wasn't clear enough) like I imma do all this and then still try to act mysterious. Nah, not rly... it might lowkey lead to like tmi or just like randomly sharing stuff idk. Like I wanna do that with someone. And it's mutual, so they also share a lot of stuff, and I just sit and listen to them like. yeyeyeyeyeyeye I love stories, I love learning more about people. Wow, I can't believe that happened to you!!!@!@!111@!@1