Finding That Fire

Alone on the bridge that night, they stood staring up at the infinite sky. The moon gazed down as they looked up, the little patches of ice illuminated by the hazy light. Winter was fleeing now, the frost dissipating as the change of seasons renewed the earth. The approaching spring heralded fresh heat, the equinox only ten days away.

The top of the West Village parking garage yielded better stargazing results, especially at sundown, but Lux loved the way the moon would shimmer over the long, cobbled bridge that connected the Village to the main body of the campus. Lux loved the moon, and Rory loved Lux.

They loved each other the same way the plants might emerge from the ground again, tentative in the fresh dew before the sun quests across the horizon, a burning campaign throwing its torch through the thatched marshmallow of the clouds. Or the way flocks of birds would return north after a southern sojourn in search of warmth, warmth that could not be found in a hemisphere slumbering under biting blizzards of wild winds and inconsiderate cold. Winter always led to moaning and wailing and much gnashing of teeth. Spring did not. 

“You know what, Ro? We should dance,” Lux whispered, unwilling to disturb the serenity of the moment. 

Rory laughed.

“Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight, Lu?”

She huffed with an exasperated sigh while trying to not roll her eyes, a gesture of disdain long out of style. She smacked him on the chest.

“If you’re going to quote the Joker, at least quote the good one,” she tried not to laugh.

“Some people call me the space cowboy; some people call me the gangster of love…” Rory replied without missing a beat.

  Lux shook her head so that her hair twanged under her slouch hat. That day had been refreshingly delicious with its sunshine and warmth, but after dark, and with 3am approaching, the cold reclaimed its rightful kingdom. 

“My best friend is such a weirdo,” she said.

Rory cupped his hand under her chin and lifted it so that their eyes met. 

“Just so you know, we’re not about to kiss, so we’re clear. Are we crystal? To be clear, clear as Plexiglas in hockey.”

Now Lux did start laughing. If she kept it up long enough, she’d soon be howling and waking up half the people in Millennium Hall or Barton House, and maybe even the people up in University Village besides. 

“Way to defuse the tension, loser,” Lux wiped her eyes after her breath came back.  

“Bitch,” Rory said, half in jest.

“Jerk,” Lux returned in kind.

This was an old inside joke of theirs, cribbed from their favorite TV show, and meant without malice, however it might seem to the outside observer. 

They linked hands and swayed on the spot, but after a few minutes Lux dug her fingers into the crest of Rory’s shoulder blade and Rory curled his hand around the edge of her hip, the complete opposite of what they were supposed to do. Rory was a terrible lead and a worse follow, but Lux more than made up for it. For what might have been the 567th time, Rory complained about this.

“Coordination isn’t the issue here. You walk around every day step after step, your legs falling in line. You’re just not trying hard enough.”

“Trying hard enough? We’re dance partners for the showcase, it’s not like you’re teaching me how to do kung fu.”

They stopped and broke apart. A searing moment passed between them, a sizzling beat hotter than a charcoal grill. 

“We’re not ready yet, but we will be,” Lux reached for the side of Rory’s neck and caressing it. She squeezed his shoulder and then grabbed his arm with a reassuring weight. “I promise. Now let’s go back in, the moon’s gone anyhow.”

They linked arms as they went inside, shoulders touching.

The next day, they ate a late breakfast at the Down on Your Luck Diner before class. While Lux had banana pancakes, Rory had chicken and waffles. They held hands across the table as they ate, and every now and then shared bites off of each other’s forks.

“The bake sale yesterday was fun,” Lux said, sipping her coffee.

“Yeah,” Rory replied. “I just wish we had more snicker doodles.” He set his cranberry juice down. They kept eating. “I also wish we didn’t have to go to class today.”

“For why? You know it gets you out of the room. You don’t want to be stuck inside all day while it starts getting warmer, do you?”

“It’s not that, I just want to spend all day chilling with you,, drinking Jamba by the koi pond or something.”

“We do that every day, Ro.”

“Doesn’t make it any less special, though.”

Lux grinned. 

“Tell you what,” she said. “After we’re both done class tonight, we’ll go have a bonfire in Glen Woods, just you and me.”

Rory didn’t seem too enthusiastic about it, despite how chipper Lux was. They paid and left. It was almost noon, and they had classes in different buildings. They wouldn’t see each other until dinner time, after which they would go to ballroom dance club together. When they came outside, they shared their secret handshake, capped off with a crushing hug, and went to class. 

Later that night, they met for dinner. They ate at Paws in the University Union. After dinner, they decided just to go to the Glen Woods for their bonfire, since it was so close by. Rory had the presence of mind to bring a box of matches, but he still wasn’t sure what he could do to light the fire. Lux was equally flummoxed, although she enjoyed giggling at his several failed attempts to get the fire going. She teased him with unhelpful suggestions such as “blow on it” and “put your back into it” and lastly, “close your eyes and make a wish.”

After ten more frustrating minutes, Rory finally got the fire to catch. They sat together, watching the flames dance as they grew larger. Lux laid her head on his shoulder.

“Remember last summer? We met at that big bonfire at the beach?”

“Yeah,” Rory said, “you spilled root beer all over me, you goofball.”

Lux shoved him playfully. “Hey, it was cute, okay? You’ll have something to tell our kids.”

Rory recoiled in mock horror, so that Lux slid off his shoulder. “You want kids? Shouldn’t we go on a date first?”

Lux righted herself. “Well, maybe. Or maybe I don’t want to lose my best friend.”

They stared at each other in the gathering gloom, the fire crackling. They couldn’t bring themselves to make eye contact, they just stared. 

The next morning, even as he got out of the shower, Rory still smelled smoke on his skin. He should’ve known this would happen, especially since he had been to other bonfires in the past. But this one was different, somehow. Only he couldn’t figure out why. 

His phone started ringing, “I Surrender” by A Day to Remember; it was his ringtone for Lux. 

“Hey Ro, guess what?”

“Chicken butt,” he answered on reflex.

Rory could tell Lux ignored it out of habit, although he could almost hear her grimace through the phone. 

“No, dummy! My boyfriend’s high school friend Shay is visiting for a few days. I told her about you, and she really wants to meet you.”

“That’s awesome,” Rory said, but he wasn’t all that enthused about it. 

  “So now we sort of have a double date, like tonight.”

“Wait, what?” Rory almost dropped the phone. “What do you mean, ‘sort of have a double date’?”

“We’re going to Cheesecake Factory for dinner!”

She sounded far too excited about this.

“Why do you sound like you inhaled six balloons?”

“You need a girlfriend, idjit!”

Rory couldn’t argue with that logic.

Rory met up with Lux, her boyfriend Jackson, and Shay. They piled into Jackson’s blue Camaro and headed to Cheesecake Factory. Lux had arranged a reservation for four at 7:30; smart thinking considering how packed it was for the dinner rush on a weeknight. They squeezed into a booth near the front of the restaurant. While the boys got Dr. Peppers, the girls both got waters with no ice and slices of lemon.

Lux sat with Jackson, leaving Rory with Shay. Rory didn’t think much of this configuration – how on earth was he supposed to talk to her if she was bunched in with him? Sitting across from each other would have been easier, and why not? Jackson and Shay were old friends to begin with.

They shared the bread starter in awkward silence. Although Rory offered to split a packet of butter with Shay, he ended up splitting one with Lux instead. But he could see the goosebumps that rioted up and down Jackson’s arm when he brushed Shay’s fingers as they ripped a chunk of bread apart. 

In point of fact, Jackson and Shay fed each other bits of bread. Mortified, Lux slathered too much butter on hers and jabbed Rory with the edge of the knife. Rory hadn’t been paying attention either way. He was too preoccupied with imagining what it would be like to feed bits of bread to Lux, but at the same time, his gag reflex almost kicked in. That sort of cutesy couple stuff would just be weird -if he did it with Lux- wouldn’t it?

The awkward silence turned stony as they progressed through dinner. Rory felt more out of place with each forkful of mashed potato, and Lux stabbed at her carrots as though they had each insulted her family. By the time their orders of cheesecake arrived for dessert (chocolate chip cookie dough for Lux and Jackson, and vanilla bean for him and Shay) Lux looked ready to murder someone with a spoon. Before anyone could take a bite, Lux up and left the table, racing to the bathrooms. Tears glimmered in her eyes, leaving Rory disconcerted. Vexed, he also left the table a minute or two later, so that Jackson and Shay gaped at them with forks halfway to digging into the cakes.

Rory knew better than to look in the gent’s room, so he cautiously poked his head into the ladies. Lux was full-on crying by now, leaning against the wall by the paper towel dispenser, her carefully applied mascara already streaking. 

    “You noticed too, huh?” she said.

Rory nodded, feeling it would be out of line to speak. He stepped across the threshold and approached her without another word. He put his arms around her and she sobbed into his chest. He helped her mop up her messy face with a paper towel or two and she scooped a few shake handfuls of water from the sink into her mouth to calm down. Rory rubbed her shoulders. 

Even then she couldn’t look him in the eye. 

“Why do I always do this to myself? I should’ve known. Shay’s been around him since high school. You don’t stop being neighbors.”

“Was she Cheer captain and he was on the football team, too?”

“No, editor in chief of the school paper, played volleyball and saxophone in jazz band and he played lacrosse and wrestled led the school play.”

“Sounds like they were soul mates, right?”

Lux wiped her eyes, “If they found each other in the dark.” 

She stooped to kiss his cheek and he kissed her forehead. The height difference between them was always a bit of an obstacle, but she had a year and three inches of leg on him. 

“I think it’s time to go home,” she whispered in his ear. 

When they came out of the bathroom and returned to the table, they expected all the people around them, or at the least, Jackson and Shay to be giving them wide eyes and wider berths. The other diners had gone back to their coffee and cakes. For their part, Jackson and Shay were attached at the face. 

Rory flinched, because he fully expected Lux to go into hurricane mode, but Lux only smirked and threw down money for her part of the bill. She turned and walked out to the curbside and hailed a taxi. Rory tossed his own money onto the table and left, grabbing Lux’s forgotten coat. 

“Check, please,” Rory quipped, and then he took his leave as well.

By the time Rory got outside, even though it couldn't have been more than five minutes later, Lux was nowhere to be seen. Maybe she had already caught a cab that she had hailed and flagged down, he surmised. Nonplussed, he pulled out his phone. He thought about calling her, but instead called the number of a taxi driver he was a frequent customer of, one he tipped generously every single time. 

When the driver, Sergei, rolled up ten minutes later, Rory threw himself into the passenger seat and groaned. 

Sergei patted him on the shoulder.

"Bad date, my friend?" he said in his gravelly Slavic rumble. Rory often imagined his driver would make a better fit as a hellraising lead vocalist for an underground Russian death metal band than a cab driver in Towson.

"Yup," Rory failed to buckle his seatbelt on the first try. He got it on the second. Shaking his head, Sergei shifted into drive after idling when Rory got in. 

"Back to campus, da?"

"Da," 

Rory went back to his dorm, and waited. He started to worry when his texts and calls went unanswered. He found her sitting outside in the West Village Commons. He took her inside the Commons building, bought four pints of Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream and said, 

"You're staying with me tonight, Lux."

"But what about your roommates?"

"To hell with my roommates. They spend all their time at the library anyway. Midterms are coming up, no one will be around."

They went back to his room to eat the ice cream. Rory set up his DVD player and pulled out Lilo and Stitch. 

"If this doesn't cheer you up, I can always just squeeze the sad out of you."

When they had finished two out of the four pints, it was going on past ten thirty. Curled up together on the bed, Rory knew they were both about to fall asleep. His heart hammered as he felt her hand on his chest. He buried his face in her fragrant hair that smelled of lavender tea tree scented shampoo. Gradually, their breathing slowed. Their foreheads bumped together, causing Lux to giggle despite her tears. The sound of her laugh lifted his spirits. He touched his forehead to hers again. And so they drifted off. 

The day of the the showcase arrived. Rory and Lux waited backstage, hardly able to breathe. They watched the other acts, mainly the step team, the dance team, two or three different acapella groups, and three different sororities perform before them. Although ballroom dance club was slated to have a team performance, Rory and Lux had signed up as a separate dance for themselves. The dance they had been practicing was called the Wildfire Dance. 

"Oh my God, Ro, I can't take all this pressure," Lux whispered, gripping his arms so tight they went pale. Her nails left vivid pinprick marks like gouges in a chipping drywall. Rory bit on his inner gum to block out the pain.

"Lux, relax. You're the best dancer in their entire club. The others are doing their own thing, we're doing ours. Breathe, just breathe."

It was their turn to go, and as they strutted out on stage, they waved to all their friends and family. Their dance, set to Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire", was supposed to be the final performance of the showcase. Based on the flamenco, it was an intense dance, with a lot of flourishing, quick movements, high kicks, and hard stomps. Rory and Lux locked eyes and held their shared gaze as their dance proceeded. Floods of meaning and color rushed into the breathless space between them. There was a world of distance in that one sublime moment, in which they realized how much they meant to each other. 

As the song ended, Lux spun away from Rory and extended her leg toward the ceiling, pointing the arch of her foot straight up with her toes helping to form an exclamation point. Rory planted his feet, and watched as Lux brought her leg back down with a swift chopping motion. The soles of their shoes began to sizzle and smoke. 

Fire bloomed from their shoes as Lux's foot finished touching the floor. The smoke alarms went off, spooked. The building quickly emptied out, Rory and Lux falling behind, trying to hold onto each other in the stampede. 

Whooping with flushed excitement and triumph, they both sprinted for the bridge, to find that same magical spot that they had been spotlighted under a moonbeam several weeks earlier. Just as they reached that spot, a thunderclap boomed and a monsoon roared in, pelting everyone with a ferocious driving rain. Rory and Lux didn't mind. Still raucous in their uproar, they put their arms around each other and shared their first real kiss, until they both numbed from the cold wind and the realization that love was friendship caught fire.