Life isn't ALL so Serious

Helloo helloo,
I just came to a revelation today, and thought I'd share :]
if someone who isn't a teen is reading this might think, "WELL DUH!!", but I am a teen rn so let me figure myself out publicly! LMAO

  anyways, I was watching this Scottish guy on YouTube. he acted similar to me and honestly if i could be more like him when I'm older that would be rad! I related to him and laughed with him. (odd how you can do that from across the screen.) I went to go take a shower hours later. I was getting ready and he came back in my mind. I just remember thinking, "why do I care so much about how I act?". I was thinking back to the dude I watched that seemed rather happy to be himself, at least on camera, so why couldn't I do that? why do I try to change how I am because I want to be more masculine? sure I am a bit masculine, FOR SURE, but that's not all I am. I like to think I'm a little bit of everything and I fluctuate.

  I really should stop caring about how I'm supposed to act to be perceived the way I want to be. yes I'm a Transdude (for some reason I don't like to refer to myself as a Transman, so I'm not going to), but just because I am doesn't mean I have to act like someone who I'm not. if people don't respect my pronouns, that's on them. if someone doesn't like the way I act, that's on them. if someone doesn't get me, that's on them. the person I am isn't for other people, not for family nor stranger, it's for me.

  back to the title, life has way bigger issues to stress over about. war, death, sacrifice, the list goes on, and on. the person I choose to be and who I am in the moment shouldn't be on that list. nor should you let it either. just let yourself breath.. the world is going to shit and some days you only have yourself to rely on. let yourself be comfortably yourself. (this only really goes if your not harming someone, yourself, or if your shitty trash.. it applies to normal people who are struggling right now.)

  how in the world could I think I'm this horrible person? or a bad person to be around, or talk to, or love, when I have so many examples of that not being the case. really take a moment to think about the last good conversation you had. did the person seem interested in you as much as you were in them? if they did then your probably a pretty alright person, so give yourself some credit.

  things can be simple if you give them the chance to be. I know I have issues with overthinking, overplanning, overcomplicating, so this is a real tough lesson for me to learn. some things in your life should be as simple as saying, "no", even to yourself. say no to yourself when your feeling self-conscious in public because I doubt anyone really cares! thinking of explanations, solutions, reasons, for EVERYTHING, gets tiring, so no need to justify the way you act. this is mostly for myself, but maybe someone out there also needs to hear it!

oki byebye have a good sleep today