AHHHH IM GONNA FCKIN END IT

Today at school I was in science trying not to lose it and so I was talking cuz that's how I cope by laughing and hoping ppl enjoy my company but the teacher said "why have you been chatting so much" and I was like really upset cuz my friend has recently attempted like 3 times and is in the hospital so I yelled (on accident) "MY FRIEND FCKN DIED THREE WEEKS AGO" the entire room went silent and i cried for the rest of class I feel rly FCKN bad for accidentally lying but more happens I FCKN come home to my parents asking me if I told a teacher someone died to get out of trouble but my parents never met the friend who was trying to end it so I lied to them too now I feel like a mfing idiot cuz my dad said to apologize in front of the school