I wanna draw so baaad

I absolutely LOVE drawing, I've been doing that since i was able to use my hands, drawing, painting etc.. So this whole world is kinda my whole self, right?

But for some reason I became very much a procrastinator and i barerly draw anything... Im having an artstyle identity crisis so its upsetting me every time i draw, but when im motivated and start drawing, school happens to exist, it keeps me busy for weeks and i loose all progress ive ever done! During summer break i genuinely started making progress, I trained on art style, tried learning how to digitally draw and shade. Im a traditional artist cus im too broke to afford a tablet, like, i could get one, but its not part of financial priorities, plus i recently got a new phone (in july) cus i broke the older (I mean... yes and no, water somehow managed to go through my screen's cracks, which i made) 

I don't wanna burden my mom, but physical art supplies are pretty expensive for my budget and i have a lot of purchases to do to make up for neglect (hygiene supplies, dietary supplements +school supplies restock...)

My mom is the type to invest in something for it to last very much long so we can save up on money, so she doesn't really want me to get groceries store tablets, my cousins have a history of breaking electronics and they're usually the groceries store cheap tablets/laptops so my mom doesn't want risk it by wasting 200 bucks on them just for them to break down a couple years/month later 

On top of that, my sister got the last ipad in sophomore year when we were a bit more "financially okay" paying in quarters, so she wants to keep things fair and buy me the current last ipad too now that i'm sophomore to keep things fair, I obviously dont blame her, but its not like we could really afford it right now and id have to wait forever to get one, the current last ipad's (ipad air 2025) starter price is 660 bucks for an 11 inches and 128GB storage, which i doubt is enough if i wanna draw and play my RPG games (i might've forgotten to mention that, heh...)

The thing is that since my mom would never allow me to go out with my ipad (which is totally understandable), i might as well not take the small one since i dont care about it fitting in my backpack, so the starter price rises to 880 bucks for 128GB, which i still doubt is enough to both draw and play

My mom recommends i just pick whatever i want or even more just in case and she'd figure it out herself to get it atp but i feel bad..., though she's dead set on me getting an ipad because she wants to make things 100% fair, considering the fact that i probably would get it next year or even in junior year so it was already unfair to me, that's nice of her but its also delaying the fact  cant draw, and again physical art supplies are expensive too, my sketchbook just finished, a single alcohol marker in my local bookstore is 3bucks, either that or its a cheap box of alcohol markers that last exactly 3 weeks before drying out, but i love physical drawing so much...

This is giving me a headache, nothing i say makes sense and im drifting away from the main topic! Anyway, open for advice and tips...