Socialization When You're Disabled and/or Bed-bound

Something you probably don't think about much, (unless you or loved ones are disabled), is all the effort it takes to go out as a disabled person. Becoming disabled, for me, has been extremely isolating because of this. 

I know my friends love me and mean the best, but it seems like those who know the effort, aren't willing/able to make it. Others simply don't think about it in the first place! When you're able bodied, you get the privilege of trusting your auto-pilot a bit more.

Whereas, these are just some of the things *I* have to consider before going out:

- Does the activity require long-distance travel

- Are the walkways wide enough for my chair to pass people

- Will it be crowded and hard to turn in my chair

- Does the building have any stairs or platforms

- Do I have someone that can safely lift and transport my chair long distance

- Will people be staying near me, or should I bring self defense in case my chair gets attacked

Again, you may think these are unnecessary to consider, but did you know the ADA laws are not actively enforced on most USA buildings? Not only that, but the ADA is extremely vague and outdated. It gives general margins for building ramps and aisle widths, but fails to account for many other disabled needs.

If you know someone that is disabled or has a chronic illness, a good way to be an ally is to check that the event: 

- Is wheelchair accessible

- Has space for your group to take a break from the crowds

- Is friendly towards disabled people 

These are all steps that, if worked on together, will make the gaps between socialization much shorter for your disabled loved ones.

If nothing else, take time to simply share the space and energy with your friends. Sometimes the best way to show love is a handmade gift or just showing up and listening. Not every hangout needs to be an outing!