#15 - 8:08

i hate you

i hate you in the way that i still look over my shoulder in hopes ill catch you there 

i hate you in the way that i want to be you

i hate you in the way i do everything with your voice in the back of my mind 

i’m aware this is cliche, and im aware my hatred is only a cover for the deep rooted seed that got planted when you told me all you ever wanted was a family 

i think that’s why i understood you so much 

i think thats why i ended up being so attached,

because i understand craving a stability that you knew you could’ve been born with, but god decided it wasn’t your turn

i understand the feeling of craving a mothers touch for comfort, of aching for a fathers love

i understand wanting so fucking desperately to BE understood, 

only to end up being considered asking for “too much” anyways.

stretch out my skin,

take me far and wide,

smoke a cigarette and i promise ill smell it through the floor

you seem to taste better burnt off a metal spoon and shot up my left arm

kiss me - with tongue

I'll be sat in the same spot you left me in.