I don't think I can make it till next week.

Oh my f*cking goodness I dunno for how much longer I can keep this shit up. Can't somebody just come along and tell me that they love me already? Tell me I'm the prettiest person alive. Tell me that I'm everything you could've ever wanted. I don't care from who it is at this point. I'm tired of being lonely and having to keep quiet about it.

My dad's in the hospital, my mom's neglecting me, my grades are sh!t and my friends are trying to replace me. Ontop of all that, I just had to come to realization that I was seemingly SAd a few years ago. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't have a single person in my life to talk to about it.

Now I'm confident in the fact that living is just not meant for certain people. And the fact that people will still have the urge to say something along the lines of "Don't kys! People will miss you!".

I just wanna touch somebody. I wanna be hold. I wanna be kissed. But that's just not gonna happen. I wanna have someone to talk to. Not just someone online. Talking isn't enough. I want somebody to run their fingers though my hair and tell me that every will be okay.

I don't know what to do.

It pissed me off that people will just call all of this a "depressive episode" and how it's "normal" to go through this. It's like they expect me to turn into a walking corpse the second I turn 18. They want me to turn my brain off. Stop thinking. But I can't. People will never admit to the fact that healing also requires the help from others. Actual people. Not just words on a screen that could come from anybody.

Goddammit I wanna be kissed so badly right now.