It Will Erase Me by Me lol

A bit dark so triggers for violence, blood, paranoia, psychosis, 

Okay thats all forgive me for my messy display 

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I see myself everyday. Whenever I look at my black screen when my device is dead. Seeing my reflection in the window as I check on the morning sky, or when I stand in front of my bathroom mirror preparing for the day. The times the rain leaves big puddles. Seeing it become a liquefied mirror. When the drops become rifles distorting the image. 

I’ve noticed reflections everywhere I go. They’re something that people find normal. Seeing one doesn’t become something of an alarm. They’re useful for many things. People use them to improve their appearance. People can also use them to see behind them when paranoid. Others use them to redirect light elsewhere. 

Playing around with a reflection can be fun. Watching your twin copy your movements can be interesting. Watching them follow your expressions can be nice. Watching them copy your raw emotions can be jarring. Watching them become you can be terrifying. If you surround yourself with enough of them for too long you’ll convince yourself that it's not you. They’re someone else who can easily take your place. 

Some choose not to see themselves at all costs. Fear of being entirely erased of their identities. If a reflection can be so flawlessly be in sync what else can it do. It can drive someone mad. Distorting their very idea of themself. The fear of having to avoid something unavoidable. They follow me. I can't get away. The amount of doubles I see in my life is immense. The drowning terrier of finally getting caught in the mix of another one of a millions. 

Every snowflake is special but what if I'm just another piece of paper from the copy shop. A pile of DNA and genes swirled into a blender of averageness. Pleasing the audience watching me as I try with all my might to seem special. Understand I'm a puzzle that can not be completed. Ignore all the other glittering pieces of snow around me. I can place copious amounts of fake glitter that will never leave my cracks but try as I might I know fully well that the shine is dim compared to the bright aura others naturally have as they simply enter a room. 

The play I put on everyday of my life, every single thing I work hard for is able to be done with a simple charming smile and wave. They look almost familiar. As if I've seen the face every single day of my life. I see it everywhere along my trail. A weight of a heavy boulder with an image that won’t free me of shackles of panic. As I come closer I notice the scenery. Identical to mine. I see on the side there a golden rim glistening with a beautiful shine. Reaching out to touch the captivating beauty. I am met with a cold surface. They face me turning with a smile. That mocking smile. I now know it is my very own. Why don't they seem to be me at all? We are the same from every little hair strand to every blemish on my skin. They follow me. They are coping with all my moves but I know their real intention. It's not the same meaning. My smiles are fake, full of practice and calculated memory. Theirs are simply colorful rays sparkling with gorgeous light lingering a little too long but not unnerving. I look at my eyes next. I know mine are tired and soulless so why is this copy just covered with passion for the performance I've mastered and burdened myself with for so long. 

I move my body more, my eyes never leaving the mirror thinking I would catch them slipping up somehow. Do mirrors make mistakes? I will make it no matter how red my eyes become. When did they turn red? It had only been a minute. The clock on my wall is gone. Am I going mad? I fall to the ground still looking at where the clock was before noting the wallpaper is different. When was it white? I didn't know where I was anymore. I feel my hand grip my blue sky pants. Did I change as I continued to move? I am disoriented not understanding my time or where abouts. If I'm present or past or maybe future. A pit in my stomach terrifies me again. The mirror was nowhere. They took my place. I knew all those times my phone screen was black, when I got ready in the morning, looking at a window, and all those dirty grimy puddles THEY WERE STUDYING ME. I KNOW IT! THEY THINK I DONT KNOW ABOUT IT!!! 

My hands are wet with crimson. Raising them I see shards of glass stuck to my palms. The reflective shine now bloodied up dripping down. As the shards fall down to the cold white floor a loud echo fills my burning ears. The overall eeriness of it freezes me. I could swear I hear someone talking but I don’t dare to move. My double could be toying with me now. With the seamless switch making me nothing more than a failed star. I want them gone, I want them punished. Why must I be trapped in a hell of my fading identity that feeds off the eyes of the people I seek the approval I so desire. As if it’s my reason to live. Their words go to my blood stream pumping it full of essence no medicine can match. Is that why I am stuck in my loop of pain…

The voice gets louder but not as if it’s coming closer. Not focusing properly I still stare at my hands losing myself looking at the horrifying image. This will be stamped into my everlasting memory. No matter the mental block, I’ll think of it. I blink a few times feeling dampness hit them. It burns so much, Every inch of my body vibrating with anger and fear of all I am theorizing.

The clanking of footsteps echoing in my ears coming closer and closer. I am not moving. That's what they want. I'll kill them when they least expect it. I'm the real one not them. I’m real, I have to be, I just have to. 

“Hey time for your medicine miss.”