It's the third day back at school and I feel burnt out T-T

I've just returned to school after a 2 week holiday and term 3 has ended so all of the stressful assessments, exams, all that jazz have been done and dusted. I usually get pretty bad dread when it's the last week of holiday, feeling like the minute I return to school everything will crumble down but for some reason I barely got that feeling this recent holidays. 

I knew that I would dearly miss the holidays tho, especially this one because I felt so satisfied and like a piece of my soul was restored. I got to spend time in nature, a huge flood of creativity hit me the entire time, I had a good balance of family, friends, and alone time, plus one of my favourite hyperfixations (moomins) started itching my brain 10x better. 

Nevertheless I still didn't feel my usual 'impending-doom-school-dreadTM' for once, which seemed good until I actually got to school. 

During the first school day was fine but dealing with the emotional aftermath hit me like an astroid. I had forgotten how drained I felt after school and how to properly resettle as a student. I forgot about having to manually think about not masking and saying my true thoughts without being rude. I forgot about the bad thoughts that I get about a person who makes me mad uncomfortable I have to see in class everyday. I forgot about having to sit still for hours without being allowed to get up for a walk or stand up and stretch. I forgot how hard it is to focus on stuff that doesn't ignite an ounce of passion within me. I forgot how overwhelming the huge amount of students there are was. I forgot how much negativity I have to manage and push down till the day ends etc.

Basically in short I think my lack of dread turned from "Worst expectations = Softened blow when school is bad" to "Having good expectations = Getting run over by the bad" leaving me forgetting to mentally prepare myself which sucks because I had a good feeling towards school for once only to end up sobbing after the second day back. 

Today is the third day and I just feel so fried, like a square trying to shape into a circle again so it can fit in the circle peg hole. It didn't really help that some boys threw a mandarin at my shoes and blamed my 'bad' hair for it today (dw one of the teachers sorted it out, just shocked that people around my age still act like that) plus still trying to readjust to waking up early and falling asleep has been fewuiongyuielrgxpareygl.

I don't want to sound like "woe is me everything is horrible" because in truth my school is actually really good. I have a solid friend group that I would trust with my life, teachers that I can talk to when I have a problem, an above average education, a great art community and a family that loves and respects me. I really am trying to dwell on things I'm lucky to have and immensely grateful for but it just feels so hard when I'm trying to partake in a system that makes me feel like I suck at anything other than art and theatre.

Anyways I'm just hoping I'm not actually burnt out already and just struggling to transition, usually the first week back is my golden week before I slowly descend into feeling bleh so it caught me by surprise. I'm sure things will get better tho as the term progresses and writing this has made me feel a lot better.

Thank you for reading all the way, I hope that whatever you're struggling with at the moment gets better :]