i suck at minecraft building

recently this has been put in my head . i h8 past me .As in , everything ive created in the past , i ohso h8 so much with a passion. talkin bout the creative side of things coz the other side is a whole complete different story .Id kill the old me if i could. But , how i create ( as of recent times ) has been minecraft building .. i see it as my creative outlet ? since ive stopped drawing ive moved all my art itches in2 minefart , coz , i gotta scratch the itch at some point ,,else itll never go away . im moving off topic. What im tryna say is , im always afraid 2 try out new things , or even just . Build .Coz im afraid of what future me might think . i jus have this thought that future me is better , i guess its right ???? ? its not applicable always ./... its deb8table . but still , i pussy out Nd eventually jus never do the thing im curious about . i guess its jus general self loathing . im aware of my confidence issues  But 4 Minefart buildin , i have this unecessary high standard 4 myself . ive only started really getting in2 the scene Like , what , middle of this year ? a few months in . im not gonna be fuckins snarple or fwhip right ?? ? Like , im finally now only getting it in my head that it is okay 2 suck at the beginning . lol.    i have a theory is coz i grew up watching amazing builders -- such as my king bdoubleo one hundred .Nd his level of skill has just been the standard in my mind , but actually partaking in the act Nd experiencing building first hand ,  one can only realise the true skill it takes 2 B as gr8 as him. mayB not , its different 4 everybody. Some is jus born gifted . i Know im not . But its  K ,, thats #lyf . We #LearnAndGrow ...    Nd coz of this standard that i myself put in my head i jus ,, critique myself so hard .Everything i create i dont think , im proud of this or Hei ive improved ! First thought is always dam this sux lol Or i could do better . Which , yes i can always do better but Why bring me down ? im starting 2 realise how mean i M 2 myself sumtimes Nd yet i wonder Y im depressed .Heres sweet advice -- dont C it as a , wow old me sucked ass cheeks . instead , jus B like  ,Hm oh gee oh my ! i wonder what id do differently now that i m better Nd stronger ! . Like , Past me sucked , thats ok .Thnx 2 that pea brained young naive fellow , i m where i m 2day. He allowed me 2 Grow Nd #GetGood . Thanx old me ! wowwee, ,, what a positive jolly mindset. Lyf wld B much less gloomy . i should do this more often with other aspex of my lyf . This is unrel8ed , Nd not at all bdubs' fault .But i feel like he has some influence on my err, me. we humans do this thing where , we kind of mirror the people we admire .Nd ykno , bdubs he has this gag in his character where he jus shits on himself jokingly , he also has this thing where he h8s past him . He talked a bit about it on a video somewhere iirc .. But , obviously .He does it jokingly. atleast id hope so. he shouldnt think that way when hes this hunk of a man , compacted with talent! worlds top one minefart builder dare i say ! yes i dare 2 say. he is .the best builder. In my eyes atleast .    Now see im so generous with compliments when it comes 2 others . how come i cant say the same 4 myself ,Well ok obviously im not fkins bdoubleo   FAR from it but i mean , the other ting . i never shit on others or critique them harshly . Ok , see now im contradicting myself again I have very , . Conflicting opinions on most of the things i think of . i tink self criticism is essential , in order 2 get good . i guess what im tryna say is , i should keep it up but not ,, be as harsh as i  m ... 4 the sake of my mentality .... i tink .... thats my conclusion ... i tink .... . . . .. . cough

aite im drifting way far off topic now , i tink , my future builds from now on will Suck more , but mentally id feel better Nd get burnt out less. Quantity will improve Nd im excited 2 share it with the hey of the space. thats all 4 this one , thnx 4 readin if ya did . ( not sorry , i wont say sorry this time , hashtag #SelfLoathingImprovements #iDontH8me    ))