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Disclaimer: I made this for fun. Also, some emojis may not be visible in some devices.
In loving memory of
π¦
Born: September 18, 2025 β Died: October 14, 2025
"Spontaneous combustion is no joke."
|βββββ Β· βββββ β’ βββββ Β· βββββ|
π―οΈπΉβ°οΈπΉπ―οΈ
Β Β Β Β Β Β πΒ Β Β Β ππΌοΈπ
π¦π¦π¦π¦Β Β Β Β πππ·οΈπ
ππππΒ Β Β Β π·οΈπ·οΈππ
|βββββ Β· βββββ β’ βββββ Β· βββββ|
π: "We are gathered here today to pay our respects and celebrate the life of our brother, cricket #5, whose soul departed yesterday."
[all the bugs in the venue]: π’π’βΉοΈβΉοΈβΉοΈπ
π: "All the faiths in the world speak of life after death. While we may not know where we are going, we must hold on to our hopes and live with contentment.
Cricket #5 was an important figure in his family. His life may be uneventful in the human world, but he lived with dignity. I am sure that this is a hard time for them, but we can only hope that his soul will forever live in their hearts. We are grateful for the time we have shared with him."
π¦#3: (starts Bahamian hollering)*
|βββββ Β· βββββ β’ βββββ Β· βββββ|
[some time during the service]
π#1: "I can't believe he just exploded!! HOW!!!"
π#2: "I don't even know how that happened."
π: "Cricket #2 will be the one who will give his tribute."
|βββββ Β· βββββ β’ βββββ Β· βββββ|
π―οΈπΉβ°οΈπΉπ―οΈ
πΒ π¦Β Β Β Β Β Β Β ππΌοΈπ
π¦Β Β Β π¦π¦Β Β Β Β Β πππ·οΈπ
ππππΒ Β Β Β Β π·οΈπ·οΈππ
|βββββ Β· βββββ β’ βββββ Β· βββββ|
π¦#2: "Cricket #5 was my good friend and brother. He joined us sometime when we got a job as professional crickets. He was the best at his job... I just don't know how he died like that. But from what we all know, spontaneous combustion is a horrible thing. I've seen him die in front of my eyes. With that being said..."
π¦#3: "I'M GOING TO JUMP IN THIS MUHFUCKING COFFIN!!!" πππ
[everyone gasps]
π: "Brother, we know this is difficult for you and I am sorry for your loss but please, don'tβ"
π¦#3: "I DON'T CARE! I'LL JUMP!!!"
π¦#4: "Nah, don't do that."
|βββββ Β· βββββ β’ βββββ Β· βββββ|
π―οΈπΉβ°οΈπΉπ―οΈ
Β Β Β Β Β πΒ Β Β Β Β ππΌοΈπ
π¦π¦π¦π¦Β Β Β Β πππ·οΈπ
ππππΒ Β Β Β Β π·οΈπ·οΈππ
Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β π·πͺ°
π: "Thank you for that speech, cricket #2, and now we will play cricket #5's funeral song. This is very special to him, and it may be for you."
πͺ°π·: πΆπΆπΆ
|βββββ Β· βββββ β’ βββββ Β· βββββ|
[pretend that the service is almost over]
π―οΈπΉβ°οΈπΉπ―οΈ
Β Β Β Β πΒ π·οΈΒ Β Β Β ππΌοΈπ
π¦π¦π¦π¦Β Β Β Β Β πππ·οΈπ
ππππΒ Β Β Β Β π·οΈΒ Β Β ππ
π: "Now for some closing remarks, by spider #2"
π·οΈ#2: "I don't know what to feel about this but, to the cricket family, I am sorry for your loss. May you find closure in life."
π: "This funeral is now over. Thank you for attending. May Cricket #5 rest in peace."
[everyone leaves]
π¦#3: "I'M GONNA DO IT! I'M GONNA JUMP ON HIS MUHFUCKING GRAVE!!" π
π¦#1: "Maurice, can you shut the fuck up?!"
|βββββ Β· βββββ β’ βββββ Β· βββββ|
πͺ¦π
|βββββ Β· βββββ β’ βββββ Β· βββββ|
*(This is a reference to that professional mourner's post on Facebook.)
Comments
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Adam βΈΈ
He saw me crying... He crode too... We crode.
I MEANT HE CREW TOO FUCK
by Adam βΈΈ; ; Report
its okay
by artymattymatt; ; Report
I'm crine
by m0sdet6; ; Report