Entry #5

15/10/25

It's been a while since I wrote on here because I was away for a bit of time. I was camping with my dad. It was fun. I had my first day back to school today. I can't believe the year is over in just 8 weeks now. That's 8 weeks until I have done a full year at my school. I still miss my old school. If I could go back I would, but at the same time I have met so many new people that I still want to see everyday. When I was waiting for the bus this morning I watched the beginning of the new Dan and Phil video. The video where they admit to their 16 year long relationship. Call me parasocial all you want but I really do look up to what they have together. I know that even they said that they aren't perfect but it amazes me how close they have stuck together for so long. I hope that I can find the Dan to my Phil one day. I think I might have already actually. But I'm not sure if it's the same for them. The Tyler to my Josh is a better way to describe it I think. On that topic, I can't stop listening to the song Center Mass. There is just something about that chorus that is like it's hugging my brain. I have the same reaction to that song as to when I listen to Silk by Wolf Alice. That will forever be my favourite song. I can never get sick of it. I fell asleep with it playing all night in my headphones a few days ago. I find it hard to put into words, but I relate to that song so much in so many ways. Right now I have Discovery Channel by Hayley Williams on repeat. I think it fits the vibe sort of. I think about you a lot. It's the type of love that you don't even know how to describe. I know you don't feel the same way, I don't even know if I feel that way. Maybe this is me going crazy. I think it is. You make me sick. I think about our future. I'm okay with waiting until after highschool. That would be okay with me. I sometimes worry you won't make it to the end of highschool. I'm just freaking out now.

~Alice