mixed signals

I don’t love winter 

But I like having my coffee bitter and hot.

I hate my anger 

The heat from within makes me fester and rot. 

I quite like 6am mornings

Watching cigarette smoke swirl with dew it has caught 

Though I loathe 6am nights 

Terrified I will never find my spot. 

Perhaps if I continue to live my life in ambivalence 

I can find a way to love myself for all I am not.