Reminiscing

When I was 14 I had made a plan that I’d kill myself the night before my 18th birthday … I just couldn’t stand the thought of adulthood, already feeling overwhelmed with life, and to be fair I still am. But I don’t think I could ever go through with it, mostly because I can’t find the energy for it anymore, it’s too much of a bother ya know… and I would forever wonder what people around me would think of me if I did it, like there’s no way for me to find out if I’m dead. So I’ll stay alive, even if I feel like a zom