A Poem

For What I Don’t Have

For what I don’t have, it eats me alive 

Making my body ache inside

I’m lost and confused, I don’t know why

I want this to stop, but I’m trapped in my mind

This is so stupid, but it doesn’t feel that way 

I wish I could make myself say “she’s his “I’ll never have him”

Something I feel like I can’t confess 

Now I feel that I’m in a mess

I don’t want to stop it though, I want to feel

I love that this makes me feel real 

Visible, in a sense that I know myself more

More than I ever have, but I still can’t let go

This is recent, new, and yet I’m consumed 

With feelings and thoughts I feel shouldn’t pass

For a long time I denied my true self 

And now that I don’t, I feel like I need help

To be reconciled, to be seen, to be loved and heard

Something that I never felt was for me 

But now I guess it is, and it’s apart of my life

And at the moment I’m trapped in a state of plight.