I missed yall!

I got so busy these past few days! I wanted to log in, but couldn't. I even had a migraine and was sick 2 days ago. That was awful. I am certain I got ill from stress. I am at that age now where I feel every ounce of stress. I was on the verge of a panic attack. My anxiety had gotten so bad that I wanted to crash out! Do you know how hard it is to NOT crash out when you've been crashing out your entire life!!!??? Rewiring my brain and reprogramming my brain has been challenging. I often look at my life as a program and I have been tweaking the code and running into bugs lol. Imagine dealing with an old ahh program that needs all new coding???!!! Yea, good luck with that project!!!! I'm the project! Yah, fix it!!!! 

I tried to watch a lecture but fell asleep because I was sick. I will get back to it. I am OVERwhelmed. Anxiety is on 1300!!!! I just want to feel centered and grounded again. I'm telling you, when life starts feeling this way, I do what Mario does. Eat them shrooms. I'm scared yall lol. Whenever I trip, it's INTENSE!!!! I don't like intense, lol I like serene! Plus, I need a sitter so my kids won't interfere. Maybe I need to take a night trip. I will keep yall posted. TT4N