writing & my senior year so far

first, i want to share some miscellaneous lines i've written recently and then talk about how the first months of senior year have been treating me

there is a book rotting in my bag, and tree rot growing in my heart. it shall rot me from the inside out, and i'll realize that i am nothing

feed it and so it warms you, you eat yourself in order to

my eyes are glazed over like the glistening of blown bubbles. even though i know i am hungry, and will not stay for long. because i go where she goes...

yesterday heavenly creatures soared and picked at those beneath them, as if heaven isn't subjective

and something sorta lengthy i wrote:

truthfulness is now masked in irony and comedic effect which makes it never sound genuine. noone can take things seriously anymore either.

even though we want to be sincere and earnest because we are humans. now we do it strangely as to not be called corny or in order to keep others from cringing and we look back at our genuine days reminiscently but under the guise of 'that was cringe, so let's just laugh at it, because we're surely better and not cringe at all now.' its okay to be cringe, but now we're cringe, meaningless and soulless!!! always looking for something to put underneath us. 

i'm unsure if that makes any sense because i have a chronic issue of never thinking anything i say or write makes sense. 

now, brief senior year talk. i started in august. it's now october. i left link crew, lol! i spend my third period in my school library as an assistant, and i volunteer at my towns library once a week. things have happened. i met a new friend who i am hanging out with tomorrow. i am finding things out about myself. i am writing an interesting novel in creative writing. i wrote an essay on l lawliet. i am behind, though. but it's peaceful. it's like how people find familiar comfort in their melancholy i guess. i am behind in the ways of college and driving. but as for college, i plan to attend a community one anyway. i want to further my education and passion in english, literature, and writing. im also interested in sociology. don't ask me about driving. im anxious.

so far, i am fine. but my naturally wary personality has me doubting any good things that have happened and could happen to me.

that's all i can think of for now...it seems my mind will run miles a minute but as soon as i sit down to dump everything out it goes dead quiet.

i want to write and read more, and i want to spend less time online. i say that all the time. well, i am going to make eggs and ramen now. ^-^