10 . 9 . 2025 - Updates

( TW : mentions of disordered eating & bullying )

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It's been a while since I last wrote here. Lots of things have happened since then. For one, I finished my junior year of high school and spent the summer visiting my significant other. However, I had some large episodes during the summer. After some thought, my mother decided to spend $30k on my military academy's tuition. Now, I live two hours away from my family and friends. 

I've made some new memories here and some new friends, but I have also experienced some heartbreak and anguish here. Many cadets have learned of my ana problem, using this information for their own personal gain. I have been called names by people, such as "fat" and "heavy", harassed, and made fun of. It's my senior year, so I am trying my best to get through my last year. 

Since the last time I blogged, I was around 47kg. Now, I am 41kg. I struggle a lot with eating. My bad habit of starving was one of the reasons I was sent here. Hopefully, I'll learn to love my own skin and flesh while I'm here in this hell-hole.

Since the beginning of August, I have been applying to different universities and colleges. I got accepted into one of them so far, lifting my spirits slightly. Application fees are a pain, though. Thankfully, my biological father has decided to help me pursue college... financially speaking.

Once I graduate from here, I'll finally be free and joyous. I'll be able to pursue a degree in elementary education, becoming a teacher and helping raise the new generation. I'll attempt to make a positive impact on my students, guiding and nurturing them to the best of my abilities. Hopefully, someday, I will get married and have kids of my own.

For now, that is all I have to say at the moment. Thank you for reading every-nyan.

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- Yoon Jae