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Why even bother anymore with anything.
Why bother with romance.
Why bother with grades.
Why bother.
I understand that life is unfair or whatever people usually tell me, but it's genuinely so sickening to actively watch as all of my friends gradually get into relax and all of that.
It's not even that I feel pressured into being in one, I just lonely. I want someone to tell m3 that they love me, want someone to kiss me. I don't care if I only feel that way because of my low self-esteem. I want someone to talk to and be by my side at my lowest.
Is it because I don't have huge tits like they do? Is it because I dress differently. I've been told before that I'm cute. So surely it can't be that.
And personality wise, I'm not even that different from all of them. I'm autistic, I've liked anime before. What and I doing wrong. I'd be dream partner! I'd be loyal, I'd be loving. I'd listen to whatever they want to tell me. Sure, you can argue that I'm clingy or whatever, but God forbid someone's love language is physical touch. I'm touch starved god damnit!!! What did you expect???
I don't want to believe that it all comes down to the fact that I still haven't met the right person yet.
I went to a concert recently and there were thousands of other alt people there. Why did nobody even bother looking at me. The only person I interacted with in there was the damn cashier when I bought my shirt.
I do everything people tell me to do.
I go outside. I make myself presentable. I try talking to people.
So tell me.
What am I doing wrong?
Maybe The Smiths were right all along.
"There's a club if you'd like to go
You could meet somebody who really loves you
So you go and you stand on your own.
And you leave on your own.
And you go home.
And you cry and you want to die."
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ItzR4v3n
Funnily enough, I can give my own examples
Now first, body:
Imo, if someone hits on you just because of you have big tits or a fat ass, that's a red flag for me. Some people like it, I personally don't. Not because I'm jealous, but because I feel like it reduces a person down to their appearance.
I personally think if someone WANTED to talk, they would.
I blame social media for people being self conscious about their body.
A friend of mine has a boyfriend and she's like. A cereal box, body type wise
I'm a B-cup at best, not the most attractive, acne scars, a bit chubby, I yap TOO MUCH. And I somehow still got a boyfriend, who had a mutual crush on me.
And the thing with autism:
I'm not diagnosed, neurotypical, but I have some tendencies? I'm planning on getting a diagnosis in the future, but this isn't about me. My boyfriend has autism, anime dude, likes to yap when something strikes his interest, and I personally find it even more endearing (for the record, I'm not dating him because he's autistic. I only found out about a month into the relationship) but also like, it doesn't change the way I look at him. I find it cute when he info dumps.
I don't think autism should stop people from dating someone
Now ima be honest, idk what I did for my boyfriend to have a crush on me. I just existed. We didn't even share classes together until last year in 11th grade, the year before that we had french together at best. (Yes I had a crush on him for two years, shush)
But I think simplicity is often what's needed to find someone who clicks with you? He and I first properly talked two years ago when we were assigned to work together during a class trip and it kind of just happened. The rest of the year we barely talked like. At all.
I guess it all boils down to find the right person at the right time under the right circumstances.
You could have luck by striking up a conversation with someone you take notice at the concert, like "oh my god, I love that necklace, where did you get it? It's so cute" or any other topic.
Idk if you still go to school, but if you do, you might click with someone during a group project? Maybe talk to that one person who always seems alone?
Idk man, I'm not great at giving original ideas, especially given all the experiences I heard of or had myself, it's all "it kind of just happened"
Best of luck though!
Rocco Geno
It seems like younger people struggle with real life interaction these days, autistic or otherwise.
There are several ways to get yourself more acclimated to approaching people and holding conversation, but if the person you want to speak with is anti social, you’re pushing a boulder uphill.
I would try to put myself into a situation where other people your age would reasonably be excited to discuss something. This could be a club at school, or maybe a specialty store (games, comics, etc).
I know you mentioned the concert but I’m usually more focused on finding my section, getting a drink, figuring out where the exits are, etc, in that kind of situation.
Anyway, don’t give up. It’s worth talking with others. It’s also a skill that improves the more you do it so keep trying.
antipatic
every day i find innovative ways to bother less