??? agoraphobia

im not claiming that i have agoraphobia >_> because i probably dont. but due to virtual schooling, moving locations, and a bunch of contributions, ive been sooooo fucking lonely and bored like all the timeee bruuuhhh.

ive started struggling w leaving the house ( not that its ever Not been a struggle ) and even just going places gives me a tremendous amount of anxiety. ._. im well aware that everytime it stops me from doing something i only enable the anxiety and paranoia but its much easier than to deal with the tremendous amount of energy it takes to just go to the library or the store by myself. 

im also aware that the only real way to get through it and get it to stop is to rawdog it but Umm. Thats #HARD. and i dont like to do hard things. i plan to go somewhere in an hour though lets hope i gather up the energy to go.

ive also noticed i struggle w fatigue alot which sucks. ill deadass get ready to go somewhere and then just want to take a nap. maybe through writing ill be embarrassed enouf to take better care of myself or smth. Maaaaaan idk. valley #OUT!!!!!