life lately

Life lately has been blegh. Before i was doing pretty well! I still am ok i suppose but now things are a bit complex.

FAMILY DRAMA

-the house i live in has three rooms, there are 10 people living there. You can imagine how cramped it is. We hope to leave soon. My uncle moving in was one thing but now my cousin has moved in and all she does is play videogames all night. Nobody can sleep now. None of them except for my parents pay rent! My family only moved in to help my grandparent to pay the house off and to help them save, we pay a majority of the bills. But my extended family takes advantage of that, they don't care that my mother bends over back to help everyone. And my dear grandmother would never say no to her precious sons. My family just sucks, and I'm so tired of it... my aunts and really only one of my uncles on my moms side just gossip about each other 

SHOPPING

-went to the mall, comic book store, and the k-pop store over the weekend and got a few things!!! Two books, one graphic novel and one manga book. At the record store in the mall i got two newjeans cd bundles but only paid for one! the cashier was so kind he gave me the second for free! The next day we went to a k-pop store and i bought a photo album for my photocards!!!! so many photo cards of my precious Minji!! maybe ill make a whole blog dedicated to it! im so busy tho, so itll take a while...

REGRET/PAST

sometimes i regret moving here, sometimes i feel like me and my family would have been better off staying in NY. but then i think of all the things I've experienced here and all the family/friends I've met and i love them all so much but at the same time the cons of moving here far out weigh the pros. I feel sort of like I've discovered more about myself here than I've ever learned before, i truly found myself here. but that is only because of the tremendous amount of pain and stuff I've had to endure here. learning how to keep happy and sane through out it all and finding out what makes me happy, what makes me sad, what makes me angry, how i deal with things. These are all things i learned here. But i would have eventually found all these things out in NY too. I grew as a person here but would have and could have grown equally as much in NY, it didn't need to take all of this for me to grow. i was doing good in NY that last year i was there, i was going on walks and talking more to my classmates. i wish i could have stopped us from moving here three years ago. 

sorry i didnt make this blog a pretty as i normally do.. ive been writing it in my free time inbetween classes and howmork time.. also sorry about the typos 

Written: 10/6/25 (diary)

Edit: 10/8/25 (public) completed