Rant

I wish people were more understanding. I don’t want my brain to be making things up. I hate it when I catch myself talking to someone that isn’t real, it scares me, I feel like crying and throwing up when i realize what’s happening. I hate how aware I am of it, I fell like if I didn’t have shame engrained into my head I wouldn’t hate myself so much over it. I don’t know how much longer I can take of this, I so badly want to go to therapy and get on meds to fix this but sessions are so expensive and I’m worried about the cost of the medications. If there is anyone I can rant openly to please reach out, I feel so alone in this sometimes. I have yet to confess to my boyfriend what I’ve been going through but I’m scared he won’t understand.