look at me

It’s been a month or so since my summer fling or fwb or situationship or whatever the hell it was with my alternative guy friend and gosh do I miss it so badly. I know we’d say ‘not to go back’ bs but I really do miss it and want to go back erm what. So actually I became a fool and started to like him…! I know I shouldn’t have but he’s the coolest guy I’ve ever met and I love how comforting he is. Him being two years older than me is mainly the problem. He’s about to be 18 (he’s 17 n a half mind u) in a couple months and considering I’m still in hs, it’ll look weird. I like how he tries to be silly and will support or be there for someone although he can act immature at times. If you guys read my previous entries, you guys probably know how we kissed and did things (nothing further). At least I think I talked abt it…

I miss kissing him. Sometimes, I just wanna baby him and peck sm kisses all over his face. I want to love him but I can’t and shouldn’t. He’s the type of guy who wants to go to frat parties and start a band meanwhile I want someone loyal and want to be with me genuinely. We’re different and I don’t fit his type. Maybe he likes skinny girls? But ik definitely alternative girls or something like that. I just like anything honestly I’m not very picky and heck I even think the dark alt x pinky bimbo combo is cute. 

I wish he’d look at me like the way I looked at him. 

I can and I will always remember the way we kissed and how he took it slow with me. The feeling had me so hot and my heart thumped loudly in my body. Even though I didn’t like how we kissed because my mouth ended up wet and I’d wipe it but sometimes when I see him, I just want to kiss his lips again. I could do that but I only see him at this youth program but we can’t kiss or do anything PDA. Which is almost mostly every public space? Idk. Don’t quote me on that…

8:44 pm - heb