Trigger Warning: This poem contains themes of suicidal thoughts and self-harm. If you are struggling or feel triggered by this, please Do NOT Read This.

The Hands Around My Throat

By D. Karma H-Lee

I am constantly filled with guilt, grief, regret, sadness, anger, anxiety, dread, hopelessness, and pain.

I feel its weight

It’s so heavy

Its weight is pressing on my back

Making it so hard to walk forward

Making me want to quit

Making me so tired

I want to sleep

A long, long rest

It hangs over my chest

Making my heart work twice as fast

Making it hard to breathe

Wrapped around my lungs and heart so tight,

Like a murderer’s hands around my throat,

Making me wish it would stop…

Stop.

Stop!

STOP!

Please make it stop…

You murdered them!

Why do you just torture me?

Kill me or let me breathe!

Let me live!

It wraps around my mind,

Warps my thoughts

Making me think things,

Things I’ve never thought before

Belive things

“I’m hopeless.”

“I’m useless.”

“I bring nothing but pain.”

“I shouldn’t be here.”

“I should leave.”

Maybe I’ll finally let the murderer finally take me…

October 5th, 2025 DKXHL