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My head hurts and I want to write a coffee a poem, but the words linger on my tongue, yet unsaid, like that sip you didn’t take out of your coffee this morning: bitter but addicting.
I keep switching the topic like a mother recognising her long lost son in every stranger's face only to find out, once again, it isn’t him.
maybe in another life...I switched the thought again.
Why make a poet out of someone who has too much to say, when everytime they try to pick up a pen they have to put it down with too many ideas rushing through their head?
i don't know if I hate you or I love you. I stare at the sentence I wrote, but who am I writing about? It’s like the ghost of a thousand thoughts coming back after years, hitting you like a drug cause you don’t recognise it, you stress too much about it trying to see if it rings a bell, like the mother and her son who meet again, but don’t remember each other.
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mina >_<
Criticism is welcome! <3
Possum
"Why make a poet out of someone who has too much to say, when everytime they try to pick up a pen they have to put it down with too many ideas rushing through their head?" That right there is a good line, my personal favorite. Sometimes it feels as though there's just way too much to write about, doesn't it? Hardest part is trimming some things for brevity, especially when you feel it needs to be said.
Sometimes, you don't have to write about anyone in particular.. or even stay in a certain direction. Poetry is art that shapes itself with every twist and even if you give it a specific meaning, it might mean something different but equally as personal to those who read it. That's the magic. Imo I'd recommend you let your heart and mind take this poem where they want it to go and see where it goes! Don't worry so much about switching thoughts or needing to add a specific meaning to every line. After all, if there's things you don't like you can always edit it afterwards
amane
kudos to u, its very nice
Omgg thankyuu X3
by mina >_<; ; Report
𝓒𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓻𝔂
Your imagery is really strong, lines like “bitter but addicting” hit hard. I love how you capture the chaotic, wandering nature of thought, it fits your theme perfectly. The mother/son metaphor works but might feel a bit repeated, maybe vary it slightly.
Your honesty“I don’t know if I hate you or I love you” is beautiful and intimate. Some sentences are long, which mirrors scattered thoughts, but a few shorter ones could make key lines punch more. Overall, the jumble of ideas is exactly what gives it its voice.
Aaaa thankyuu for reading it and giving your opinion, I will try to not repeat things as much next time X33 <3
by mina >_<; ; Report