By dictionary definition, it can be a noun: the process of making or becoming sound or healthy again. An adjective: tending to heal; therapeutic. What does it truly mean to define healing? Healing, is not just a process of becoming, or to tend, it can be described by three words given to its alignment of meaning.
“Journey”.
It is a journey of loss and found. A breaking of the old and the blooming of
anew, it is a long path where one will travel across the fog that blinded your
vision. Feet crackles and prickle lie bare on your sole achingly bleeding until
it is covered in red and blue. Walking to what seems to be an endless cycle of
gnawing and gnashing of your hands, relentlessly taking a step over the steep
hill. Regardless of your vision being but naught of swirls, blurs and visions
of passerby unbeknownst of their presence. “Grief”. Grieving over the
truth of what will happen, what could happen and what may have happened. It is
the fawn that lay beside its mother, confused as to why mother has been resting
for weeks without waking. Yearning for warmth that burns deep into the bones of
your heart, the fickle and tackle of time yet returning to the fungus burgeoning
across the mother’s features, longing for those eyes to open once more. “Resignation”.
A reluctant acceptance, a point of no return. The loss of desire to revert to
your meal when you have eaten everything until they are no left but bones and
ligaments. Nothing left to return to; the place you may know and loved will
never be the same anymore. From the colors of red and blue, you’re forever
purple. You can’t separate yourself from what once of separate primary, secondary
and vividly staring beyond the horizon. Soles beneath the pavement of your
corpse, you have been reborn with memories of the past. Resignation to withdraw
from the stench of maggots and rot, bury it deep than to drag it endlessly before
it attracts swarms that devours and famine your future.
Healing is a set of stage, a set of
level of becoming and unbecoming; tending and breaking. It is nonlinear
spectrum of ups and downs. And what is crucial for healing is to move forward. Seeking resignation of
removing the unbefitting to achieve what behooves tomorrow.
XOXO
- Kixx
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ferretinsoup
This feels like reading something alive, like the word healing itself was caught mid-metamorphosis. I like how you call it a “journey,” but not the soft kind- yours bleeds, cracks, limps forward. I think that’s right. Healing isn’t tidy or therapeutic in the scented-candle way, sometimes it’s infection learning how to scar over.
What’s strange is how subjective it all is. Some people heal by returning, others by never looking back. Some tear the wound open again just to make sure it’s real. Sometimes healing looks like apathy, sometimes like laughter that feels a little too loud. It’s an ecosystem, isn’t it? Pain composting itself into something fertile.
And yes, the resignation part- that hits hard. Healing is a kind of surrender. Not giving up, but allowing. Letting the decay finish its meal so new tissue can grow. Sometimes you wake up purple, like you said, and that’s fine. A bruise, a badge, a reminder that you made it through the breaking without disappearing.
I enjoyed your blog, however short, quite a lot1!! (〃´▽`〃)
xx_Hukioa10_xx3
a college activity project thing
informative but applied creative writing?