I Am Unable to Feel Hatred.

Apologies in advance if this doesn't make sense at first.  This feeling, even though I have lived my whole life with it, is one I cannot fully put into words.  Therefore, I will do my best to describe it.
I am unable to feel anger, let alone hatred.

Love is the only thing I feel.

I feel it as I dream.  I feel it right when I wake up.  I feel it while doing my tasks throughtout the day.  It's always there.  No matter what I'm doing or how I feel.

If I'm doing tedious school work, it's presence is still felt.  If I'm sad, it slowly seeps through.
I do not want to go into much detail about my personal life at the moment, but I would like to say that I have gone through mostly about everything horrible that could happen to a person.  From failing a class to the things you listen to in a true-crime podcast.  Even so, I have never felt anger, let alone hate.

I feel hurt by the people who did bad things to me.  I feel sad that it happened.  I feel heartbroken by their actions and the things that happened to them that led them there.  But hatred not.
When I look at the state of the world, I feel heartbroken.  It's just so sad how things have played out.  I feel hurt by those who wish me harm.  Sometimes, I even feel afraid.  I feel protective over those who are hurting.  Sometimes, I even want to bare my teeth.

But I don't feel anger.  Let alone hate.  The closests I've ever come is feeling fustrauted.

I'm very calm and patient.  However, over the past few years, I have begun to grow more irritable.  It's something I've been working to correct.  Just a moment to breath and I'm okay again.
People you can describe as "vile," "hateful," and "bad," I don't see as such.

You can name the worst people in history.  You can put me in a room with all of those who have done me harm.  I would still give them all a hug.

Mind you, I do not "excuse" their actions.  Those I see for what they are.  However, people are dynamic.  They are not always defined by their actions.  Every moment we breath, is an oppurtunity to change.

People should be held accountable for what they have done and recieve the proper punishment.  However, they should also recieve the proper care and help they need.  They should be given another chance, no matter how many they've already have.
This is why I am against death being the punishment for anything.  By killing them, you are denying them oppurtunity for change.
I know some people will refuse to change.  And their decision is valid.  They just need to be ready for the consquences.

While I am the embodiemnt of love and though I am alway kind, I too, am just as stubborn as they are.

I refuse to change my ways of loving.  To love is who I am.  No matter how hateful someone may be, I will never hold anger for them.  I can't even if I wanted to.
When someone does me (or anyone else) wrong, I only forgive when they have given an apology that is worthy of my (or the person / people affected) acceptance.  However, if in the meantime they start to change their ways, I don't hold their previous actions against them as strongly.
I am someone who moves on very easily, but that doesn't mean I forget.
(Like I said before, the person / people need to be held accountable and deal with the consequences, I hope this doesn't come across as me being able to let things slide easily.)

This is all still difficult to put into words.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that, I can't feel anger or hate.  I've never been able to, no matter how hard I try.  Even the most "vile" of people, I stll look at with love and understanding.  That is something that will never change.  It's who I am.  Whether those people take accountability, deal with the consiquences, and change their ways or not, my reaction to them will never change.  I would still greet them on the street with a warm smile.  I would still help them tie their shoes.  I do that with anyone and everyone.  I love every living creature on this earth.  My actions will not change because of someone else's hatred.

Thank you for reading.  This is more or less me just spilling my thoughts and feelings rather than something more put together, but discussion is still open.  Though, don't except any clear answers.