falalalalala

i am so utterly sick of having no friends. i mean that in the most literal sense possible. there is nobody i could consider myself being able to rely on , not one person. nowhere i could go if something happened to me , nobody to talk to when things get difficult. i am extremely socially isolated. i feel so corny even bringing this up in spacehey but i am so out of options and so tired. i do try , but everything fizzles out so quickly. i've always just been the person people go to when they are bored or lonely , not because they actually like me or care about my interests. my last decent friend group was 2 years ago in high school and it ended with me finding out they all secretly hated me and were talking shit about me even tho i was trying to make those FAGGOTS gang up on each other and NOT me . chronic loneliness is genuinely one of the hardest things i have had to experience , moreso than any trauma i have endured. it is killing me , it is eating away at me every single day and i am running out of hope. it's been 17 years of my life spent without a best friend , without one single good consistent friend i could consider myself being able to rely on. ladies hml line tho 📲📲