I hate that I’m fat

Sorry if I sound fucking stupid but I’m literally just a girl that wants to have visual beauty so stop telling me that I’m “already beautiful”, I'm beautiful when I’m 130 lbs for once in my life. 

So all my life I’ve been big, kinda like that girl from Insatiable who was like super fat until she got punched in the face by that homeless guy and she lost all that weight in the hospital. Well unfortunately I’m still fat, I’m 260lb (that’s more of a rough estimate) and I was really doing good last year but it was cuz I went on that keto diet for a whole year (sadly I don’t work out so ofc that’s why I’m still fat as fuck). I had went down to 240lb and it was OBVIOUS too, like I felt good and I was hotter than usual. 

Unfortunately, my household wanted to change things up so I had to quit keto but it ruined everything for me. I’m HIGHLY aware that fade diets don’t do shit for everyone cuz it works for a minute so once you’re off it and you go back to the usual, everything can come back so the old cravings and habits came back and boom, I’m 260 again. I was so excited to go lower and I really want to. I dreamed all my life to be small and thin. 

I wish I had better discipline and a mindset to actually want to workout but I wish I didn’t have to, I wish I was lucky to have a tiny body and high metabolism.