I'm back. Taking accountability, an explanation and an apology.

Hello everyone, it's me. I don't recall what my previous username was, maybe rebirthofdia or something Or maybe it was the same one as this one? Anyways. I was contemplating on wether or not to come back, if I'm being honest. Actually I'm nervous to come back. For a niche reference, I feel like Starlight Glimmer when she was worried about coming back and the village not liking her because they'd think she stayed the same. But thankfully that's not always the case and some people do change.

The reason why I feel like this is because of my actions the last time I was here. Personally I think some of the things I did were terrible - I caused a lot of hurt to some people that I didn't mean to and the fact that I couldn't control myself in the moment has been haunting me ever since it happened. I remember two specific occasions I will always be regretful of. That's not who I am today and was not who I was at the time either, so I will always be ashamed and guilty of that mistake because I let the worst side of me come out. That's actually why I decided to delete my SpaceHey account in the first place and never come back altogether - out of shame and guilt. I've been avoiding SpaceHey like the plague, especially because a person made a call-out post about me which made me feel those things even more (as I should because at that point in time my behavior was absolutely shitty). Well, now it's been well over a year and I've been thinking of coming back for a few days. This thought of coming back has absolutely never crossed my mind up until a few days ago. I tried to suppress it but that just led to me thinking about it more so I asked some of my friends and they tried to reassure me about coming back, knowing how much I was overthinking it. At the time I had just turned 16, now I'm 17. A lot of things can change in a year. I can't explain or describe things well sometimes, but I hope most of what I say makes sense.

In this next part I'd like to first apologize, then give more context. I'd like to apologize the person again. Actually, both people. Starting with MB.

MB: I'm incredibly sorry for my past actions. I never meant to betray your trust or take any kind of advantage of it, but despite my intention that's what ended up happening. It was also extremely stupid and inappropriate of me to think that an older person would want to be with me at that time and then get upset when they give the more obvious answer. I hope you can forgive me because I absolutely can't. I also hope that you're doing well nowadays and that what I did didn't cause too much impact, since I do remember reading your post about it and I felt terrible for what I did. I never meant to give you a hard time trusting people after that, so I'm sorry. For everything.

D: I deeply apologize for what I did back then.  I remember explicitly asking you if it was okay for me to send a NSFW meme beforehand so when you said yes, I just did. I found out after that by one of your friends that reached out that you had an issue with it. I would absolutely NEVER pressure anyone into doing anything so I'm sorry for causing hurt by sending that image because regardless of my intention, it was not okay of me to send it.

I hope that things can be resolved. We totally don't have to be in contact again, just lay things to rest and move on. (And I don't know. Maybe the people *have* moved on, but for some reason *I* can't because I can't forgive myself.)

Now, second - I would also like to make one thing known to hopefully give more context to this. At the time of all of this happening, specifically the MB (not naming the person) situation, I was on a call with a (now ex) friend of mine and was hyperventilating about it. Coming to find out, she did "little" (if you consider lying on a person's name something little...) things to try to put people against me and she also tried to put my whole groupchat against me. The groupchat part backfired on her but I'll spare you the story. At the time she was one of the only 3 people that knew about the MB situation because she was the first to find out about this (obviously, as we'd been on a call). The reason I'm stating this is because I found out that she had been saying absolutely vile things that "I" was allegedly saying, when none of that was true. She told one of my friends that I want to... and this is too gross to explicitly say, but basically "do things" to her dolls, when I would absolutely never say or let alone do that and ESPECIALLY not to my friends. That's disgusting. The reason I'm telling you this context is because I think she told MB what I was saying out of proportion, if that makes sense. I also ended up thinking the 2 other people told on me instead of her, so I apologize to them as well for wrongly thinking that.

TLDR: I'm back, for good this time. I decided to come back after all just to give it a shot. I don't know how this post will be perceived, but... cheers to new beginnings?