Filthy

Just to clarify, I'm not Asking for help. This isn't a plea for attention, this is just Me wanting to get something out.

Are truly alive even when your Absence doesn't bother anyone? Are you even a Person at all if your Presence doesn't mean anything. Locked behind this "IMAGE" you've created of yourself, since your too Stubborn and Idiotic to Really open up to someone. Because of that Sharp feeling in your mind, that once you do. They'll run, because if you Truly let yourself be YOURSELF, they'd Leave. They all would. Because if i were to show the real Me, they'd all leave. Because deep down i KNOW, that nobody could Ever love the real Me.

Last year i was sick for Three straight months, not even a single "Are you alright?" Message. None, from NOONE. I haven't been able to sleep for Months on end now, I've been Losing weight, my Will, my Hopes and Dreams, my sense of Self. And noone seemed to notice, or Care enough to speak up. I KNOW that I'm a bad person, but i Try. I tried my hardest to be Good, so I'm Sorry if i can't be how YOU want me to be. But what really terrifies me, is that i can't see a Life for myself past 17. My body may move, but if i can't get help. I'll be a dead Man walking, that, or either a First Date with a couple of Train Tracks at 4 in the Morning.

They forgot about me, even the Fuck that i stuck with for Years. Forgot my Birthday, couldn't even care to Apologize, But even knowing he's bad. I can't let Go, I'm Pathetic. Hopefully I'll make enough of a splash to make the Headlines, Paint the Tracks red.

22:32

22:33