My Experience with OC Creation

This blogpost is more of an autobiographical ramble into the void than anything helpful or rant-y. I apologize if you were led astray by the title. Nevertheless, I still wish to voice my experiences out.

Throughout my youth, I’ve arguably always been part of the imaginative bunch and remained a proud member for a very long time. Creating identities and people that hadn’t existed before felt like second nature, and character design was a breeze to me. Although there is the objectively true argument that there are no truly original ideas, I was very proud of these creations regardless. Only when I got into literary roleplaying in Discord servers and Kik chatrooms did I discover the full extent of original character creation. 

To set yourself in the role of your own character, to be able to interpret your own style of dialogue of your character and write it out, and to see their character develop past the template of their generation was a feeling like no other, and I’ve admittedly shed tears when significant moments struck down onto my own character. As if I were a parent, I was proud of their accomplishments and sorrowful over their losses, like I wasn’t the one writing down and influencing their every decision. 

Unfortunately, I started to feel less compassion for my characters anymore. 

Nuance became only a hint in the background, and their designs felt either clamorous and conflicting or muted and basic in my eyes with no in-between the two extremes. Apathy, even cruelty, became commonplace within my writing until eventually, I had ceased all attempts at even writing a basic profile or drawing out a conceptual sketch because of I had unconsciously stripped any motivation I had. I became a listless, self-repressive person. Painful as it was monotonous, I deemed my inactivity a proper solution for my lack of care for something I once loved and treated with consideration.

Gaming, friends, and taking a step back as a writer to become part of the audience kept my mood afloat until I felt marginally better to be myself again, and although I disliked college-work, they certainly kept my mind off of what was essentially me barring myself from this years-long hobby I always liked. Sometimes, I’d write character bits in increments or talk about pre-existing characters that I made in the past. The embers of a fiery passion still glowed, and I was on the precipice of either fanning it back to a blaze or stomping out that part of myself for good.

I started to fully write characters again some time last year. 

I figured enough time had passed where I no longer felt the anxiety nor the frustration I had held times past. Although I do not have the confidence, creativity, or even the same empathy that I had before, I feel as if my characters of now are more to my preferences. They’re unafraid and cocky, sniveling and pathetic, dangerous and abrasive, kind and selfless; and it’s hard for me to be dissatisfied with any of them. Maybe except for one, but I’d rather not think about that right now! 

My characters back then, despite all my passion put into them, were considerably “one-trick-ponies” with a gimmick and a switch to them, all in the name of “multifaceted characterization”. When I look back on how I wrote my characters, I cringe and wonder how no one else thought to give me pointers and criticism when I was just asking for it. Although I do not roleplay as much, as I am just stepping back into the scene this year, I find myself wanting to grow past my comfort zone as a person and to truly immerse myself into a person I don’t know.

As a writer and a character creator, I’m still growing, but I’m much more satisfied with myself now. I dislike ending things on a self-congratulatory, hopeful note — mainly because I am a painful person — so I wish you (if you are a character creator or plan on becoming one) all the misfortune in the world , LOL.