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senior yr SUCKS

senior yr of highschool and i wish things couldve been better.

I had a solid friend group of 4 ppl for a while until 2 switched to do a different program outside my school.

its just me and this other girl and all of us still talk still but theres so much tension like girl A and girl B in the group are always hanging out and doing stuff tg and never inviting the rest of us and one time we confronted and was like hey can you guys be more inclusive like we're a friend group yk. and after that they started getting rly dry and when all four of us would hangout they barely talked or initiated things and A and B would act like they weren't close in front of us. which was not my goal at all. and then behind our backs they would go out hangign out together and doing shit all the time. 

and there is person C who i thought i was close with but she has some attatchment to person B (person b and c are the ones that switched out of my school) and i would talk to C about how it was kinda annoying that A and B were dong stuff together all the time and never including us. and C would be like yea its fuked up and then she would go on a rant about how shes especiallly hurt with person B cus she's different cus they both go to the diff program together and she thought they were tight and all im thinking was dam like so ig you don't rly think that way abt me or person A like she thinks differently of us compared to B. 

so its just me and person A sitting at lunch tg now. and our convos are always so dry and i have to use all my energy to think of things to talk abt with them and i feel like i can't fully express myself around her. it jsut feels like we're strangers and it makes me mad cus ive seen her hangout with person B and they get so loud and talkative with each other but after that one confrontation they just completely got silent. like its actually making me go crazy and thinking that im the bad guy. i didn't care if they were friends i just wanted us to be a normal friend group.

and now my senior yr sucks and i have so much resentment towards my friends and i feel like im the only one whos carrying thi sburden. like they all have each other and ive always been catering to all their needs throughout my friendship with them but whenver i have some kind of thing that bothers me thye make me feel like im being dramatic or sensitive. 

and its senior yr and i wanna be doing all the fun events like hoco and football games and stuff but all they do is complain and talk abt how its a waste of time or they don't feel like going and i dont wanna make it awk and disagree that i do wanna go.

i geniunly feel so stuck rn and idk what to do. i have other friends from classes but im not close enough to hangout with them and stuff. and the other option is that im in senior yr anyway and i can just wait it out and deal with it but idk how much i can deal with this. i dont wanna graduate and later regret missing out on all the stuff from hs cus my friend group was on some bs. and no one in the group is even willing to try and mend and get rid of tension in the friend group cus they think it don't matter anymore and we are separated anyways. this situation keeps bothering me everyday and idk what i did wrong. i don;t even have anyone to say this too i feel like i would make other ppl uncomfortable and i feel so ashamed and embarassed abt my situation. 


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